Abe's A Fool for the City

Long but not forgotten

2011-07-25T17:21:00.005-05:00

Where do I even begin? It's been so long since I've put a "pen" to "paper" that I am shocked I even remember how to type. Thanks to Facebook, texting, and emailing for keeping me on my toes with typing skills. I will start with work since that seems to consume a large portion of my life. Last October, I was promoted as manager of Origin at Macy's. It was a huge promotion so I jumped at the offer and landed it. Now I am on a team with 4 others and it's my job to train them to be the best and at meeting our daily, weekly, and monthly sales goals. It's very difficult but I am always up for a challenge. Last month I had the opportunity to meet Jane Lauder, who is the global president of Origins, and Estee Lauder's granddaughter. Being an Estee Lauder company means even more of a challenge for me because everything has to be done to the utmost perfection. Last year we made half a million dollars and this year we hope to be at $600,000. Since we are one of the top stores in the country, sales volume wise, we are on constant show with our vendor partners. I have made some great friends at work, too. Please know that I love you guys. You can make me laugh until I'm crying!!! Now you know that's a friend for life.

My partner, Joe, and I will celebrate 2 years together late next month. They have been some of the happiest 2 years of my life. I can't even begin to say why, but if you have someone to share your love with, you know just what I mean. He and I have made a number of life decisions together, such as quitting drinking alcohol. On that note, it's so nice to get up and not be hungover! On THAT note, I am up every morning by 5:30 to walk the dog. Our favorite thing to do is eat out. We adore trying new places, of which there are so many to choose from, it often takes longer to pick out where we want to go than it takes to eat dinner. One has become an absolute favorite, however, and that is Hello Thai on Devon. It's a delightful little sushi place and we find ourselves there a few nights a week when we are tired from work and have no energy to cook. Ahhh, cooking. Another thing we both adore. Nothing is more satisfying than making a meal from scratch and then sitting down together to enjoy it.

Yes, the dog. Early this spring we went to the Anti Cruelty Society because we decided we wanted a dog. We picked out a chihuahua- dachsund mix. Her name is Pearl. After she was spayed she acquired a major infection and had to go back to the vet for (gasp) a month! She is utterly fine now an has been a delight for us. She is learning sign language and English and is quite the smarty pants!

Now the time has come to bid goodbye. Since I have caught you up on life since my last posting over a year ago, I promise the next ones won't be quite so dry, and probably rather funny.

Cheers, everybody.

A nice Mom's Day Weekend

2010-05-09T16:50:00.002-05:00

We were being good boys and went to church!

Yesterday, I took the Metra train out to the burbs to see my mom and dad AND to cash in a gift certificate for a dep tissue massage that my has been burning a hole in my pocket for almost a year. WOW was that a nice hour of my life. I can still feel it today. She worked all of those knots out of my shoulders and everything. After that my mom took me out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant which was delicous. We hung out at mom and dad's for a few hours and then I hopped a 4:00 Metra back to the city. When I got home dinner was already for me. This morning, I woke up and had a marvelous idea. Disco night at Berlin is next Sunday. My birthday is the following Thursday. Perfect! Berlin is my favorite nightclub in all the city. Why? Because everyone goes there just to dance and have loads of fun. Gays, straights, transgenders, crossdressers, EVERYONE. And everyone gets along just great. It's like the Studio 54 of Chicago in the 2000's. They have a Madonna night, a Prince night, all sorts of themes. And there is rarely any cover. The dance floor is full of mirrors, and platforms, and tons of lights. Love, love, love that place. Halloween is also a great time to go there, as I have for years and years.

So I emailed all my friends who may be interested in joining me about my marvelous idea.

After we had breakfast this morning, we went to Church (gasp!). It's the first time I had been to church in probably over a year, but the service was so nice. Then we took the Broadway bus back uptown to Broadway Cellars, which is a fantastic brunch place in our neighborhood. After that heavy brunch, Joe said we are having salad or soup for dinner, which I totally agree with because I am STILL full, and we ate over 5 hours ago.

I am off again tomorrow, so who knows what the day will have in store for us. Since it's been so eventful up until now, who knows what tomorrow may bring?

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of the moms out there!

Hugs,

Abe

For christ sakes

2010-05-03T13:21:00.000-05:00

STOP SPAMMING MY BLOG!!!! I'LL COME AFTER YOU, AND BRING YOU DOWN!

New Subway Cars!!

2010-04-25T21:07:00.003-05:00

So I FINALLY got to ride one of the new subway trains today!! On the Red Line to 95th street, I excitedly got on to go to work. The seats are all along the car, leaving a lot more room for standing passengers. This is known as "New York Style" subway seating. There are also straps to hold onto all along the aisle. No more holding onto the back of someone's seat with the risk of having their hair tickle the back of your hand. If you have ever been on a crowded subway during rush hour, you will be thanking the CTA. Having your face smashed up against the window and not being able to hold on is no fun whatsoever.

Additionally, for our out of town guests not familiar with the spider-web like subway system in Chicago, there is a light up map which tells you the next stop coming up. Amazing!! Also, the chime telling you the door is closing is no longer the old fashioned, "Dannng dannng." It's now a lovely little chime, along with a flashing light above the door. And you can't even hear the doors close like the old cars would rattle shut.

The new cars run on AC power now, which, apparently makes for a much smoother ride, and start/stop. And it sure did!! No more jerking and bumping as the train flies through the subway tunnel.

If the lights go off on the train for some reason (which they often do for no reason), or in an emergency, there are glow strips on the floor to light your way.

And lastly, the panels on the front of the car telling you it's destination are an LED-type light up, rather than the old-fashioned back-lit sign panel.

Kudos, CTA, kudos!!!

I don't want to be senile

2010-03-29T08:16:00.002-06:00

Yesterday at work, I clocked out for lunch. I was starving, so I rushed to the elevator to get upstairs to the break room. Waiting to get on were three ladies: one walking, and one pushing a lady in a wheelchair. She looked like a sweet old lady, probably around 80 years old. She would change my mind very fast.

The doors opened, and she yelled, "Get me moving!"
The lady just smiled at me and pushed.
When the elevator started moving, she screamed, "Get your damn hands off of me!" It was so loud, I jumped. The lady pushing just smiled, but didn't respond.
"I said, get your damn hands off of me, and get me out of this god damned store! Shit, I told you I want to go home!" she squauked like an old crow.
Then she reached around and started slapping the lady's wrists who was pushing her. I never saw an old lady be able to move so freely! And the lady pushing was still smiling.

Then the door opened on 4 and they got off, with the poor old lady cursing, and swearing, and screaming at the top of her voice all the way out.

And it really got me thinking: I never want to be senile (really, who does?). I'm ok with getting old and grey, but I just don't want to go insane! People will stare, people will smirk, and for all of the wrong reasons. I felt bad that this lady was dragged out of the house and so unhappy with the way her day was going. I'm sure it's good for her to get out, but, Christ, take the poor lady home!

Chicago has the 2nd Longest Commute in the Country...

2010-03-21T07:27:00.004-06:00

And this is why....PEOPLE AND TRAFFIC EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

Spring is around the corner

2010-03-15T13:01:00.005-06:00

The warm weather is upon us, and with that comes planning for the upcoming year. This Halloween will be my first time with a partner, and we have been trying to figure out options for costumes (even though Halloween is 7 months away).

Abe's thoughts:

-Lucy and Ricky

-Ike and Tina Turner

Joe's thoughts:

-Abe as "Carrie"

And that's IT. We are out of ideas, so I need some from YOU! For example, who should be Ike and who should be Tina? Please, and thank you.

Single-Handedly

2010-03-13T08:14:00.004-06:00

Mayor Daley is single-handedly killing this city that we all know and love: Chicago.

Supposedly, property taxes are going up, as is sales tax. While our sales tax is already the highest in the nation at 10.25%, you are telling me it is going up, yet again? The city has already lost a ton of revenue, as many of the city's conventions historically held at McCormick Place have been lost to places such as Las Vegas, and other cities in the south. Why? Because the taxes in the city are rediculously high. Chicago relies on tourism. It's probably our biggest source of revenue, and has been for years and years. So why increase taxes to force conventions to go elsewhere? God only knows.

Additionally, property taxes are supposedly going up as well. So you are telling me that my already high mortgage and cost of living is getting thrown deeper into the ditch by increasing my property taxes? Rental units are going up, as well. In the grand scheme of things, Chicago has a very high cost of living. When compared with New York City and San Francisco, it seems reasonably low, but when compared with other, smaller cities such as Atlanta, Seattle, and Philadelphia, it is awfully high.

The mayor is forcing us city dwellers out to the suburbs, and if he is not careful, all that will be left is an empty shell that was once (and still is, thank God) a vibrant and alive city that we all know and love.

Turning the knife in my back yet again, I saw on the subway last night that CTA subway and bus fares are being proposed to go up yet again. Two years ago the unlimited monthly pass increased from $75 to $86. Still not so bad. But this year there is a proposal on the books to raise the monthly pass up to $120. You have got to be kidding me. In these tough economic times, you are raising fares for the second time in two years? I understand that the CTA is in the hole with regard to budgeting, but you also recently cut service on a number of bus routes. In the grand scheme of things, a monthly pass at $120 is still very cheap, considering I don't have to have a car and pay for gas, upkeep, and insurance. But come on, people. You are killing me. And you are killing 3 million other people. Stop it. Just stop it, because I love this city, and I refuse to be pushed out because of a rediculous thing like taxes for crying out loud.

Lazy Customer Assistant

2010-02-13T09:00:00.002-06:00

Running to catch the subway I hear the automated PA calling, "Customer assistant is needed on the outbound platform." I turned to look at the customer assistant booth and the lady is just sitting there staring off into space. Again, the PA called, "Customer assistant is needed on the outbound platform." She sat there. So I went over and knocked on the window and said that someone needs help downstairs. "I'm off the clock," she said. Baffled, I just looked at her. If you are off the clock, then why are you in the booth? And even if you are off the clock, can you not run downstairs and see what the matter is? Apparently not. Apparently $25/hr. is not enough pay to make you do your job whether on or off the clock. Golly, I wish I made $25 and hour. I'd make damn sure I did it right.

So I go downstairs, because my nosey self wants to see what the problem is. Down there was sitting a handicapped girl in a wheelchair with her hand on the assistance button to press it again. How she got down all those stairs to catch the subway is beyond me. But she needs someone to put the ramp up for her to get onto the train. The ramp is locked up in a metal case. And I don't have the key. Not knowing what to do, I walked over and said that apparently there is no one working, but I'd be happy to help her. I couldn't understand what she said, but when the train came, I pushed her over and helped her onto the subway. I was scared to death I would hurt her, but she was fine. Now, let's hope that when she gets to where she is going that the customer service assistant will assist and God forbid will be on the clock.

What changes in the last year

2010-02-09T08:40:00.002-06:00

The last year has seen so many changes in my life that I can't even begin to summarize them. The economy, and life in general have thrown so many bones my way, but, as always I have lived through it all, and lived to tell the story. Let's see, where do I begin?

-March 2009 - I lost my job of 5 years (laid off)

-March 2009 - I came out to my parents and immediate family

-May-July 2009 - I spent most of the summer looking for jobs in my field with NO luck whatsoever

-July 2009 - I began seeing a pshychologist and a psychiatrist

-July 2009 - I worked for one day at a Chicago Public School and then got screwed on pay

-August 2009 - I stopped seeing said pshychologist and psychiatrist because it was way over the top

-August 2009 - I met my fabulous boyfriend, Joe, and spent tons of time with him getting to know him

-August 2009 - I worked part time at a call center until late nights

-September 2009 - I worked for a scam artist for 2 weeks and never got paid (but got good excercise cold calling all around the city)

-October 2009 - I began working full time at Macy's Watertower Place in the Men's department

-October 2009 - My fabulous boyfriend, Joe, moved in with me

- November 2009 - I finally became more comfortable being "me" around my family

-December 2009 - I was promoted at Macy's as a cosmetics counter manager

-March-December 2009 - I totally settled down. No more going out drinking (ok maybe like once a month), no more dinners out night after night, no more meeting boys at the bars. I'm too old for this stuff now!! I'm happy, I'm healthy, I can afford to live in this pricey-ass city. And that's really all I can ask for in this day and age.

In summary, I never, ever, would have seen myself working in cosmetics at a department store, or working for scam artists, or working at a school. But we do what we can to survive these tough times. We live through it, and we keep moving forward. This past year has been so difficult for everyone, and I'd be very interested to hear what changes have taken place in everyone elses life.

CTA woes...again

2010-01-26T18:28:00.002-06:00

Wah, wah, wah. CTA service is being cut on a ton of bus routes. The postings on the subway do not confirm by how much, but there are at least 80 routes on which service is being cut. By how much? We apparently won't find out until February 7 when the cuts are scheduled to take place. As if the busses aren't packed enough as they currently run every 10 minutes or so, if they are running in more like 15-20 minute intervals, this makes me a heck of a lot less confident I will be able to fit my slim body onto the bus to get out or get home. And, of course, all of my northside routes are set to be cut: the 22, 36, 147, 151, and 155 will all be cut. At least they are not cutting the subway routes. Thank god for that. I can get to work like normal, but if I want to go anywhere on the north side (by which I normally take the bus) I will be waiting longer in the cold than I ever have before.

And, yes, it is darn cold these days of January. I may have to invest in some hand warmers, or, better yet, some of the elusive battery-operated heated clothing like I have seen numerous signs for on the subway. Are these things really true, or are they a joke? Who knows?

Time will tell.

Hugs,

Abe

What a B$%@&

2010-01-21T19:10:00.002-06:00

So I was happy I didn't have to wait for the subway to get home from work tonight. One pulled in just as I got to the bottom of the steps...and it was PACKED to the gills, but I squeezed on with my face smashed against the door. I was starving, I was cranky from the slow day at work, and all I wanted to do was sit down and relax my old bones and muscles. After 8 or so stops a seat opened up and I moved towards it as the girl got up. She smiled and moved towards the door. No sooner had I begun to sit down, when I got a sharp push on my back pushing me out of the way and nearly knocking me over as I tripped over millions of feet competing with mine. "Excuse me," I said sharply. "No, excuse me," she yelled back. "I was waiting in line for that seat." "I don't see a line, and that makes two of us waiting for it," I shouted back, as she scrunched down in the seat. So I stood over her and stared at her for the entire ride home. She was not pregnant, she was not elderly, she was younger than me, and boy did she have a mouth on her.

Short post, but I feel much better now that I am sitting down on my couch at home.

Union Business Solutions is a JOKE

2010-01-11T12:41:00.002-06:00

A public service announcement. Do not ever look for jobs on craigslist. Every single job I got on Craigslist has yet to pay me. And these were over the summer of 09.

Craigslist Strike #1
The first one was a high school job in June 2009. The job I got was to be administrative assistant for $100 a day. Great, I thought! I was hired on the spot after my second interview. So I worked all day. Doing some creative design work, some spreadsheet work, and some typing. I finished everything really fast. At the end of the day everyone left, so I left too. An hour and a half and 3 trains to get home. No one told me what time to show up the next morning. So I showed up at 8AM. And I sat there. And sat there. And sat there. Thank god it was nice and sunny. Finally the Dean (who interviewed me) showed up and says to me, "oh we don't need you today, the principal is out today." Disappointed that I had wasted my morning traveling here to turn around and head back home, I thanked him and left. The next morning I showed up again, at 8AM. Once more the Dean showed up and said I would not be needed. Stunned, I just left. Later on, after thinking this whole thing through I decided to call the school and find out when the need me and what time I'm supposed to show up. Two key pieces of information that, one would think, would be the first things out of their mouth when I was hired.

So I called, and spoke with a teacher (who I had never met). With some aggravated tone to my voice I described the situation to her, and said that I need to be told when to show up to work. To this she replied, "Oh, we won't be needing you anymore." "EVER?" I yelled back. "Nope." She said, and hung up the phone.

Well son-of-a-bitch. I was just fired over the phone by someone I don't even know, and barely started work with. So I called the Dean and left a message that I don't know what happened but I expect to be paid for the one day I did work. I have seen nothing, and this was 6 months ago. I have contacted him 3 times since them to try and collect my money.

Craigslist strike #2
This one I actually did get paid for. It was a nighttime call center position in which I was placed by a placement agency. One day they just called me and asked me not to come back. No explaination at all. I believe it's because the manager did not like me because I don't let people walk all over me. We were in training for a few weeks, and we would literally be sitting there for an hour and a half every night without starting anything. That's a major waste of time. When I brought this up to her, she flew off the handle at me. I told her it was a waste of time, and she wouldn't listen.

Craigslist strike #3
This was another one where I was hired on the spot, with the important sounding title of "Vice President of Marketing" for Union Business Solutions. That should have been the first giveaway that this guy was a joke and taking all of us for a ride. Basically we were doing cold calling trying to set up appointments with our businessmen to close loans, or "deals" as Thomas Brooks called them. I signed a letter that I would be paid $3000 a month if I did my job. And I did my job. To a T. After a week we were told that in one year we would all be millionaires. Um, yeah, right. That was the second giveaway that this guy is blowing smoke. Then he told us that if we didn't close the "deals" none of us would be paid. WHAAAAAAT'S that you say? So my team met for coffee to brainstorm. Everyone was aggrivated, upset that we had been taken by this guy and had wasted 2 weeks working for him. So the five of use decided to resign. Immediately. My resignation was in the form of an email with the entire group copied on it. The next day Thomas Brooks (President of Union Business Solutions - yeah right) called me and yelled at me for being unprofessional and sending an email to everyone regarding my immediate resignation. Why couldn't I come in and talk it over in person? Excuse me? This is almost 2010, sir, and I think it's only professional. All I could think to say was, "I'm sorry, but I can't think of wasting any more of my time with you." And I hung up the phone. So I never got paid for my 2 weeks on the job. And I never got reimbursed for my business cards I paid for (which he said he'd happily reimburse me for). At least we all got some good excercise running around the city all day, hauling papers and files, and business cards! And everytime I walk by this guys building above Union Station, I flip him a nice bird. Just to make myself feel better. I have done some research on Thomas Brooks, and found that he has called his company by three different names in the past 5 years. And everyone knows he's a scam. Should have done that all first and saved myself some heartache.

So there you go. Three jobs from Craigslist and three disasters.
Bottom line: Thomas Brooks of Union Business Solutions is a scam artist and should be ashamed! Do not give this man the time of day!

A male who does cosmetics?

2010-01-02T09:31:00.002-06:00

Oh, how I love my new job in Philosophy cosmetics at Macy's. It's totally different from the Men's Department on 8. No more fitting room clean up, no more putting away piles and piles of new clothes on the cash wrap every morning. No more folding all day long. Not that I minded that at all. It is a job, after all. Cosmetics is much more relaxed. I can wear a sweater vest and shirt/tie combo, as long as the outside is black. It's a good thing I'm a neat freak, because our counter has to be spotless. The shelves have to be straightened and stocked every morning. And I have to print out our daily report every morning to see where we ended up, dollar-wise, yesterday. So there I am by my counter, saying, "Would you like to try our Amazing Grace fragrance today? It's amazing?" I also give facials with our oxygen peel. While we wait for that to work, I do the microdelivery peel on one hand, and then compare it to the other, untreated hand, and everyone (including myself) is amazed at the difference it makes when you remove all of the dead skin. And then I do makeup. It's very intimate, up-close relationship with this person who is a stranger. But I really enjoy it.

As counter manager I have to plan at least two events per month. We are calling it "Amazing Grace Sundays." We have to build up a clientele list so we can call people and let them know our event is coming up, with free samples, and a demonstration. And I have to do the books every night. Comparing todays sales with last year on the same date, calculating tomorrow's goal, and determining the days items per transaction (IPT).

And I can't go in on my days off like I could in Men's, which was commission only, since this is hourly pay plus commission. No overtime.

So all in all, I do love it. It's a challenge, and I live off of challenges both personally and professionally. They keep me going. What are your challenges in life and career?

Hugs,

Abe

Secret secret, I got a secret II

2009-12-23T20:17:00.002-06:00

So I can finally tell everyone the secret that I've been dying to burst the bubble on...and that is that I got the position today as Counter Manager in Philosophy cosmetics at Macy's!! This has been a long process interviewing with 4 people, and waiting to hear, and losing sleep over the potential. But this morning I had my last interview, and I nailed it!! When my manager in men's called me down to the HR office, I was so excited. I knew it was good news because I could hear it in her voice. Then I got down to HR and Tim, who my manager asked me to come speak with greeted me with a huge smile and took me into his office. I couldn't wait to hear what I'd be receiving today...my fabulous new job. It's an important title. I have to meet my sales goals, and I have to get a high IPT (items per transaction), and a high SPH (sales per hour), but as friendly as I am, I should have no problems collecting customers. Philosophy is a very young company, and we need to get our name out there...although Oprah LOVES it. So come check us out at Macy's Watertower Place. You'll love our line. We have products for men and women.

Awesome coat!!!!

2009-12-15T16:41:00.004-06:00

I look awesome in muh marijuana leaf print coat

Holy Cow!!

2009-12-13T08:10:00.004-06:00

Shhhh, did you hear? The new Mayor in Houston, Texas is.....gay. And also, did you hear, that the President of the United States is, shhhhh, black? We have made some huge steps in the past 2 years with getting with the times. Even in the last 50 years with the Civil Rights movement.

I was so excited when I heard about the Mayor's election this morning. This is a huge thing. As I have said before in the recent past, it doesn't matter who you love, you are all still beautiful people, professional, and outstanding. "It's the way God made you." As a customer told me yesterday, speaking about her brother coming out to her mom. "Never be ashamed of who you are." The same goes for race. Chicago is one of the most segregated cities in the world. It saddens me every day to think of this fact. There are people on the south and west sides who have never even seen a white person. You could almost draw lines on a map to show where black people, white people, latino people, live. I will say this is one of the most fascinating, yet unsettling things about Chicago. There are little neighborhoods of Russians, Indians, Vietnamese, Hungarian, Bulgarian, et cetera people. But this is different than segregation. 100 years ago, when people were flocking to Chicago and New York during the migration, they settled in little pockets, near each other because they spoke the same languages, and ate the same food. If you visit one of these neighborhoods, you can eat some of the most delicious, and authentic ethnic foods. But I have, again, gone off topic.

I just wish this city as a whole were more mixed. My neighborhood is very mixed, and diverse. Every single day, I see blacks, whites, Russians, Indians, Eastern Europeans, latinos, gay people, straight people walking down the street in harmony. If the entire city were like this, I would be much happier. But I still love this place, called Chicago. Remember the President is from Chicago. I've talked about it in many posts. So hopefully rest the United States will catch up to the times, as a few cities have it right!! This is 2010 people, not 1910.

Hugs,

Abe

Secret secret, I got a secret

2009-12-12T20:40:00.002-06:00

Did you ever want to tell everyone something so badly it hurts? But the time just isn't right yet? God, I hate this!! DAMN! I hate secrets. I hate keeping them (although I am not a gossip queen, and I don't tell other's secrets). And I hate having secrets kept from me. People are constantly talking about other associates at work, and it drives me crazy! Nosing up in everyone's business about who got fired, and why. What manager told someone, and why they said it. And who was late getting to work today, and why they were late, and what time they are going to lunch. I just smile and nod when people tell me things. I don't blab my mouth off, and I wish people would find someone elses ear to listen to their gossip.

But alas, I'm getting off subject here. So behold, the secret will be told, when the time is right. You will all know my business, because it's great news, if this works out like I hoped.

What is it?

Am I starting my own business?

Are Joe and I to be married? (one day)

Am I moving to a new apartment?

Am I getting a car?

Do I have the swine flu? (no)

Am I starting a Spanish tutoring school?

Time will tell....

Hugs,

Abe

Gay Marriage

2009-12-03T20:14:00.004-06:00

That's right, folks, I said it. Gay marriage. It should be legal. Who cares who you love? You should be able to be wed and live happily ever after, right? Wrong, according to most states, including Illinois. Even the cornfields of Iowa have it right. In the middle of nowhere, they have the right idea. But not here in the melting pot that is Chicago. One of the largest cities in the country with the largest gay population in the country. Now I know that the rest of the state may not agree, and we are discussing a state issue here, not a city one. But come ON people!

Joe and I have discussed this at length. We can have a ceremony here in Chicago by a company that specifically caters and does ceremonies for gay couples. But it just doesn't seem the same, because in the eyes of the government, it will never have happened.

And who has the money to just fly to another state, have the wedding ceremony done, and then fly home with your rings on, but it's not really ok to be wed at home? It seems very strange. I think this should be a federal law, not a state law. There are gay couples living happy lives all over the place. Probably right next door to you (gasp!) They are just not living in happy wedded bliss, with the exception of a very few states.

So, hopefully, in time, this will become legal in all areas of the country, so that happy gay couples can be wed just like anyone else (because we are all the same people, gasp again!!) We just happen to love the same gender. It doesn't mean something is wrong with us, it doesn't mean we were brought up poorly, it doesn't mean a damn thing other than who we love. And I hope everyone remembers that!!
Hugs,
Abe

Oh how I love you Chicago

2009-12-02T18:27:00.004-06:00

If I could marry a city, it would be Chicago. And I might have an affair with New York City, but Chicago would be my baby.
The picture above, taken by my good friend, Azza, is the perfect example of why I love this city. It's pure and utter chaos. For some odd reason, this mass crowd of people exhilarates me. It energizes me and makes me smile from ear to ear. It's the lights, the skyscrapers, the traffic, the people all over the place. Now it's not for everyone. Most of my immediate family hates this kind of chaos. They hate crowds, hate waiting in lines, hate the traffic, hate the business. That's why they live in the suburbs and in the north woods of Michigan. But I got the gene that makes me love it. It must be the New York in me.

Unfortunately this year during the lights festival on Michigan Ave. (pictured above), I had to work, so I missed it for the first year in quite awhile. But I can live vicariously through other's pictures, apparently. It's beautiful, and it makes my heart flutter with excitement. Literally. This reminds me of the Chicagobama post I wrote last fall. Craziness. So what do you all like about your own cities, and about Chicago? What are your favorite things?

My Top Ten Movies

2009-12-01T18:44:00.013-06:00

Bette Davis eyes

So I'm experiencing writers block, so what do I do when that occurs? I make lists, of course!! Here is a list of my top favorite movies of all time. Many of you know I have an odd taste in everything. What are your favorites? Have I forgotten anything?

1.) The Devil Wears Prada (don't all gay men like this one?)
2.) All About Eve (Bette Davis rocks this one)
3.) Mildred Pierce (Joan Crawford is amazing)
4.) Poltergeist I, II, & III (CAROL ANNE!)
5.) Norma Rae (got to love Sally Field)
6.) Panic Room (freaking LOVE Jodie Foster)
7.) Cape Fear (freaky)
8.) The Silence of the Lambs (hello, Clarice)
9.) The Graduate (hello, Benjamin)
10.) Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (wow, what a freak!!)

Being gay in the city, being gay in the suburbs

2009-11-27T00:39:00.002-06:00

Apparently, as I found out this Thanksgiving, it's highly inappropriate to be a gay man from the glamorous, wild, flamboyant lifestyle of the city lost in the woods of suburban life. Apparently, it's not ok to draw attention to yourself, and look fabulous in your gigantic sunglasses and adorable hat from H&M, or your 3/4 length coat from Banana Republic, or your earrings. These are all highly inappropriate and disrespectful to the suburban Abercrombie & Fitch crowd who have only seen gay life as it's depicted on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Apparently all gay men are flamboyant and living this lifestyle, not as a chameleon, as suggested, but rather as an outgoing person comfortable with himself, and with his self image when at home in the city, but not at all comfortable when he steps off the Metra train into the outer world of the 'burbs.

I was hurt and dismayed, that this lifestyle that I have been so comfortable with, and accepting of for over 10 years, is so frowned upon. It's not like I chose this lifestyle over "straight" life. It was kind of given to me.

I don't "talk like" a queen, or with an affect to my tone of voice. I like to think that I dress myself very well, and I spend way too much time primping my face and doing my hair in the morning. Sure, when I've had a few too many cocktails, my hands do the talking for me. Sure I tend to draw attention to myself in large settings. But so do most people who are accustomed to city life and being around tons of people every day. Apparently it's not the case with the suburbans. So I apparently have to change my image and be the "chameleon" when I'm around my suburban family. I suppose I can deal with it to make them happy. But as soon as I get back on that train back to the city, on goes the Banana Republic coat, and the gigantic Jackie O. sunglasses, and to top it all off, my fantastically "gay" H&M hat.

I am who I am!

Bad News for Chicago

2009-11-20T08:35:00.009-06:00

Chicago's Meigs Field

Chicago's McCormick Place

Four big news events (to me, anyway) in Chicago in the past week. And they are all bad news, of course, that's what we always hear about on TV news.

1.) The death of Chicago School Board president, Michael Scott was a very sad event. They found his body in the Chicago River at Orleans Street. The first thing I thought was, "Oh my God, the mob got him," because the mob is alive and well here in Chicago. Later it was revealed that it was a suicide. This poor guy was very well respected in the city, and he was Mayor Daley's right hand man. Sad, sad event. It's beyond me what would ever make someone consider suicide. I mean everyone thinks about it. "Wouldn't it be sad if I jumped in front of the subway." But I would never seriously consider something of such nature.

2.) Chicago's world renowned convention hall, McCormick Place, has lost customers in the past year because of Chicago's high taxes. We lost customers to Florida cities, and Las Vegas. HELLO??? Lower taxes! Make it easier for people to utilize our city's resources, instead of making it more difficult. Money is the root to all of this. People don't want to pay an arm and a leg for a freaking scone and a cup of hot coffee.

3.) Oprah is leaving her show in 2011. Sad, sad, news. She's been at it for 25 years here in Chicago. The neighborhood on the west side where her studio is housed has risen in real estate and property values, but faces a downfall when she leaves. Come on, Oprah, we know you are rich and famous, but let's try to continue to help the city that we all love (you included), instead of harming it.

4.) And the last one, is the fact that a New York landscape architecture firm won the bid to do some redesign of Grant Park, and Meig's Field. Meig's Field is the area which used to be an air field which Mayor Daley so appropriately ripped up during the night several years ago to make way for a park. They want a children's playground, as well as a harbor for boats on the lake. Come on, Chicago landscape architecture firms!! Let's step up to the plate here! We already lost the Olympics thank God), which would have been some great design work for all Landscape Architecture firms, but why don't we try to keep the work within our own city, instead of farming it out? We know our own city better than anyone. I have no doubt the NYC firm will do a fantastic job, but I'm just crabbing here. This is my field, so I have a lot of input and insight into this topic. Email me for more information :)

And that's it in a nutshell. On a side note, did anyone watch Janet on Wednesday night? God, I love that woman! What a talented artist.

And a happy day to all.

Some things you should never do (how rude)

2009-11-17T19:49:00.003-06:00

Thou shalt never wear sweatpants. Unless you are in the comfort of your own home with the shades pulled. I think they look so sloppy. It gives me a headache. The only exception is Hugo Boss sweatpants.

Thou shalt never waste an hour of my time on the sales floor "oohing" and "ahhing" over merchandise I am showing you, and then tell me you are going to go buy it online. How rude.

Thou shalt not ask me out on a date if you are my customer, especially when you are nasty L.A. trash.

Thou shalt never be walking directly in front of me, and then stop, or make a 180. If you do, thou shalt get bumped out of the way.

Thou shalt never get mad at me if you forgot your $10 off coupon, and I don't have one to give you.

Though shalt never try and screw with me. AKA Thomas Brooks of Union Business Solutions, or whatever the hell you are calling your company this week.

Some things you should never do (how rude)

2009-11-17T19:49:00.000-06:00

Ways to make your apartment more energy efficient during the long cold winter

2009-11-13T18:59:00.003-06:00

There are many relatively cheap and efficient ways to make it through the long winter months, take care of the environment, and keep yourself warm all at the same time.

First of all, I will share my good friend, Pam's advice:
-wear lots of clothes

-turn down the heat

-cover the windows with that shrink wrap stuff to block any drafts and if possible use lined drapes as well

-use energy efficient light bulbs

-if you have bare wood or tile floors, cover them with carpet runners, so they won't be so cold

-when you take a shower, leave the bathroom door open to increase the moisture in the air, as moist air retains heat better....and it feels better too
hmm...have I forgotten anything?

She has forgotten a few things. If you are unfortunate enough to have a gas furnace, like I do, you MUST buy a programmable thermostat. The one I have has for settings per day and weekdays vs. weekends. I set mine to 60 when I'm gone during the day, and when I'm in bed. I set it to go up to 7o when I get up in the morning and when I get home from work. This will save loads. Also, your gas company probably has a "budget plan" in which you pay the same amount year-round, even in the summer months when you are not running your furnace. This evens it out throughout the year and avoids $400+ bills during the winter months. Your bills are calculated based on your yearly usage.

If you have radiator heat, it probably gets way too hot in winter, so you probably need to crack a window to cool down some. At least this option is usually paid for by the building management company or landlord.

Most old apartments have openings in areas like behind kitchen cabinets, and in bathrooms and around pipes where they go through the floor. Stuff these areas with insulation or with "Tuff Stuff" to keep out the chill. "Tuff Stuff" is sprayed through a can and expands to fill openings as it dries. Its great.

Put insulation tape around all doors leading to the outside. You can light a match or candle and hold it around the cracks to see where air is coming in. Obviously the flame will blow to let you know what areas need to be protected.

If you have old windows, you can replace them, because a TON of hot air can escape the cracks. If you have the money, go for it, it's well worth it in the long run.

DO NOT leave the bathroom fan on for any extended period of time. A lot of heat can escape through this opening, and you won't realize it until it's too late.

And finally, invest in ceiling fans. Since hot air rises, the fan, on it's winter setting, will spread the warm air around the room. Especially if you are like me and the heating ducts are near the ceiling...the fan evens it out.

Hope these tips helped. As I said, they will make up for it all in the long run! Try it out!

The Time It Takes

2009-11-12T21:45:00.003-06:00

So I read my good friend's blog this evening (Subway Gal) at http://www.selfabsorbed.me/ and she told the world about her morning schedule. I thought it would be fun to share the same news about me...not like many of you care, but read away, and enjoy!!

6:00 AM - Get up, make coffee immediately. Check my email and Facebook page, turn on Fox news (although Joe prefers WGN).

6:30 AM - Joe gets up and joins me in the living room to watch the news, and pours coffee.

6:45 AM - Joe makes breakfast of bacon or sausage, eggs, and a bagel or waffle. More coffee.

7:00 AM - Joe washes dishes and we have more coffee.

7:15 AM - Abe showers and dresses for work. More coffee.

7:25 AM - Abe does his hair and shaves (this takes me the longest to get my hair just right and chic)

7:55 AM - Abe kisses Joe goodbye and leaves to catch the bus or the subway depending on if it's raining or not. (Rain=take the train, Fair=take the express bus, it drops me off right in front of work)

8:10 AM - Abe looks at weird people on the train or bus and laughs in his head or takes pictures of said weirdo.

8:40 AM - Abe walks into work and puts things in the locker room.

8:55 - Abe walks onto the sales floor and is ready for the day.

So there you go. My start to the day. Maybe later, I will write about the end to my day. =)

A few things that make me go WILD

2009-11-09T15:58:00.004-06:00

It drives me crazy when the bus drivers change drivers at Foster/Sheridan, Foster/Broadway, or Foster/Clark and they take forever getting on and off the bus. Take your time adjusting the seat. Take your time talking to one another. Take your time putting on your seatbelt. Because a whole bus of passengers doesn't have anywhere to be. We don't have to work, we don't have to get to class, we don't want to get home and eat. Not at all. Please take your time.

It also gives me an ulcer when people do not move out of the way for people getting off the subway or the bus. Especially during rush hour, you can pretty much figure that someone is getting off or on at every stop. So move your ass out of the way, and let people move about!!

And I hate it when people walking on the street stop and ask a bus driver for directions. Have you ever heard of Google Maps? It works very well. Do you realize you are holding up an entire bus of people who...don't...need...to...be...anywhere.

It drives me crazy when people throw their McDonalds bag on the seat next to them or the ground while I stare at them in disbelief. Come on. You are really disrespecting a whole lot of people. And it's ridiculous, and it makes you look ridiculous. Utterly...ridiculous.

It makes me batty when I see a dog-owner let their dog take a big shit on the sidewalk right in the middle of where my foot will likely fall. Right when I'm walking up behind you. If you are going to do this, at least do it when no one is watching, so I don't know who to give the evil eye to when I pass you the next time.

It makes me ill when people clip their fingernails on the subway. SICK. Can't you do that in the shower? On your own time? Not in front of me? I mean what if one of your clippings flew into my hair? Or worse yet, into my food that I'm not supposed to be eating on the train? You are all disgusting creatures and you ought to be ashamed.

It makes me want to scream when you see trashy mothers screaming at their kids like they are a dog who doesn't understand English. They are people too. And if they are acting up, you probably need to work on your parenting skills. That, and I probably have a headache that you are making worse with every passing minute.

Please, thank you, and good night.

My hilarious sister, Audra

2009-10-28T11:00:00.002-06:00

My youngest sister, Audra, is 21, and will be 22 next month. She is honestly the funniest person I know. These things might not be funny to you, but they are all from our past when we were younger, and I wanted to share them with everyone. Please let me know some funny things from your past with your family, I'd be very interested in hearing them!

-Once I thought it would be funny to put a bunch of brown bananas on my sister's bed, so she would think someone (or something) pooed on her bed. What really happened was that the bananas melted (they were frozen for banana bread), they left this gross brown ooze all over her covers.

-When we were little we used to play horsey. In this game we would ride one another like a horse and try to tame the "wild beast." The "wild beast" was always named "Po'kern," which is the southern version of the word, "Popcorn." My dad would always get mad at us so we would yell, "Po'kern settle down before dad gives us a spanking!"

-I have two sisters, and when one would get a spanking, the other two of us would just die laughing at the noice of the spanking upstairs.

-Once while at the farm in Tennessee, my sister was running through a huge pile of cow poo with her boots on. Well she got in so deep that the boots were sucked off by the cow poo and she was running in her socks!

-Once my tiny Italian great grandmother was over at our house, and she was opening the fridge after dinner to put food away. Well, the force of her opening the fridge made a huge fart come out, and we were dying laughing. Later that evening, she was headed upstairs (I can only imagine to use the bathroom), and as she rose the stairs, she let a little gas out each time she stepped. Freaking hilarious.

-Whenever we were on our way home from church on Sundays (it was a half-hour drive, because there were very few Catholics in northeast Tennessee), we would play "tissue factory" in the back seat. One of us would grab the tissue box, pull out a tissue, and crunch it up. Then he or she would pass it on to the next sibling and he or she would flatten it out nicely. Then they would pass it on to the third sibling and they would lay it in a pile to put back in the box later. We would always get wild, or get into a fight, so my dad would screech the old brown Chrysler to a halt on the side of the road and smack our knees to straighten us out.

-We had some good family friends who were Vietnamese. Whenever they would come over they would always bring the most delicious home made egg rolls. The man, Hugh, once asked my sister, Audra if she liked chicken. However with his accent, it came out more like this: "Soooo Auura. You like sheeeeken?" We still use that one to this day.

-My sisters and I would always watch the movie "The Witches," with Anjelica Houston. We would constantly repeat lines from the movie amongst ourselves.

-We always would rent "Poltergeist III" and reinact the part where Carol Anne comes out of the mirror and grabs Tangina, turning her brown and dried out, and then being thrown on the ground by Carol Anne's uncle. That was a fun one, because we had to do it on an old matress in the basement so we wouldn't get hurt falling over.

-My sister loved the cartoon, "Beauty and the Beast, " so she had this plastic painted doll of Belle. Once I got mad at her and scrubbed the dolls head on Audra's headboard on her bed and it left brown skid marks, which, if I'm not mistaken, are still there.

-Once in church I thought it would be funny to pull out one of Audra's hairs. So I did it and she turned to me and said, "Ow, Abe, you huuut (hurt) me." Don't ask me why I thought this would be funny, but we still laugh about it to this day.

-We still constantly quote "Uncle Buck," especially about the rat gnawing that thing off the principal's face.

-We also played bank with old credit cards of my moms by swiping it in the crease between the headrest and the seat on the old bucket seats. That one's not as funny, but it's a memory.

-Another not-so-funny one was when I played post office with my dad's old junk mail. I would put chairs in a circle to make my "office." Then I would put a laundry basket to collect the mail that I would have my sisters drop into the "chute" formed by the chair.

I will try to think of some more tales of my past, but would love to hear all of yours!! Please share!

My new job at Macy's Watertower Place!

2009-10-14T19:56:00.004-05:00

I can't explain how nice it is to be working again. I'm back full time, keeping busy and making some money besides collecting unemployment. I mean, over the summer I was so damn bored. The first month it was kind of fun. Then I got sick and was in the hospital in April, which was no fun whatsoever. By the time I was recovered, which took another month or so, I was so sick of sitting around on Facebook doing nothing. I was sleeping pretty poorly because I was sitting around all day not wearing myself out. You can only go to the beach and go window shopping so much before you start to go crazy. And I mean crazy. Literally out of my mind. I watched all of my movies....twice. And I have a ton of movies.
After working a few temp jobs, and working another one that was a freaking joke, I started looking again. And then I found Macy's. I spoke to a friend of mine who works in jewelry at the State Street store, and I asked her if I could put her in as a referral in my cover letter. Rita did the trick. Then they asked me in for an interview. I was so excited when they hired me on the spot. I couldn't believe it! I could have skipped to the subway after I left. The next two days I began training on the register, learning all about the store, taking a tour of all 8 floors, et cetera.
Then I began work. My first day on the job I met and exceeded my sales goal by 230%. I was excited again! The people I work with are all so nice and helpful. And you hear all sorts of accents and languages spoken in the store. After all this is Chicago. Quite proven to be the melting pot of the midwest when you shop at Macy's. So I'm slowly (or quickly) learning what it's like to make some great money again. And it feels so good to be wanted, needed, and useful again.
That and I've got Joe, which makes my life better than ever. I own my life. I love my life, I love my friends, I love my boyfriend, and I love, love, love my new job at Macy's Watertower place. So come and see me at work!! Eighth floor, Men's Collections Department. And buy something from me, will you?

It feels kind of good to be mean

2009-09-19T14:13:00.002-05:00

So my (old) roommate has really dropped the ball in the last month. Which is why I've decided that he needs to leave. Immediately. First, there were two occasions when I came home and all of the lights in the apartment were on. WTF, I'm thinking?? Is he a 3 year old where I need to say, "Come on, honey, turn out the lights!" And he doesn't even pay utility bills. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me, but I figure that I'm here anyway, so I might as well pay them. On another occasion I went into the kitchen in the morning and there was ketchup and mustard spilled on the floor in front of the trash. Jesus, take out the trash if nothing else will fit. If you don't know where the dumpsters are ASK someone. Then, he was 2 weeks late on paying me HALF of September rent. He said I would have it Tuesday. Tuesday rolled around, and nothing. Then he said I'd have it Saturday. Saturday rolled around, and nothing. This morning I went into his room and on his shelf, I see a bottle of medication with who's name on it? MINE. This is the second time he's taken medication of MINE. Then he took my boyfriend's deodorant. Who steals deodorant?! Get your own for chrissakes. These all seem like minor offenses when alone, but added up they broke my (the camel's) back. So this morning I changed the locks on my front and back doors. Four deadbolts, two doors. All done. This evening I'm going to visit him at work and ask him to come to MY place to talk to him. I don't want to get into it with him in public because I will most certainly create a scene. So tomorrow, hopefully, he will be moving out, and I'll have my second bedroom back as an office again.

I love you, Joe.

2009-09-13T21:27:00.002-05:00

Just when I'd about given up on online dating, and going back to the old-fashioned way of meeting men....in person....I met the man of my dreams. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a shy person at all. I have no problem walking up to somebody and telling them how cute they are. I've had great luck with this in the past. But online you just get so many more options! However, I cancelled my online dating sites as soon as we became an item, and Joe did the same thing. It was truly, honestly, love at first sight. I never believed in that idea, but now I do. When he showed up at my apartment I couldn't believe my eyes. There, in front of me, was a beautiful, sexy, and adorable man standing before me. How lucky am I? He takes such good care of me, we make dinner together, and we spend a lot of time together. I could never get tired of this man. Never, ever. Once he came over and started cleaning my kitchen and my bathroom! And I'm a neat freak, but he was cleaning the stove, and the sink, and everything! Then he moved on to the bathroom. Again, I'm a neat freak, but he scrubbed and scrubbed. Then last week I got home from work, exhausted from my 14 hour work day, walked into my apartment, and saw my Joe sitting on the bed with a huge, beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. Then I noticed he had bought me a fantastic set of crimson red sheets, and had made the bed with them. I couldn't believe it! I almost cried. It was the sweetest thing a boy has ever done for me. Walking hand in hand with Joe is the nicest thing ever. Cuddling in bed with him at night is lovely. Now I know most of you are probably thinking, "Why the hell do I care about Abe's love life?" But I know you all want to know the gossip, so I'm keeping you all updated :) I'm so proud to know this guy. He makes me happier than I have been in a long time. I love you, Joseph Benjaman Imbert.

Things I hate

2009-09-11T09:50:00.004-05:00

So you all know how I love making lists, so here's yet another one.
This is a list of things that drive me crazy:
Black Jeans...ugh
Crazy drunks on the subway when I'm headed home from work late at night
Slow walkers
Being too hot
Being too cold
Dog poo that hasn't been cleaned up
Messy homes
Licorice
Commercials
Scary looking eyes
Muggers
Tardiness
Being up too late
Being owed money
Being unemployed
Dipshits
Artichoke
Eggplant

Wow time flies

2009-09-08T14:05:00.006-05:00

Man, so it's been over a month since I last blogged. So much has changed in my life, I don't know where to begin. I've been really busy, and actually have three (count em three) jobs. The first one, which began last month, is an evening call center position in which we call mutual fund owners and ask them if they want to vote yay or nay on recommendations of the mutual fund Board. That one is 5:30-10:30 M-Th. and 11-5 on Saturday. Very nice people, I love my coworkers! The second one, which I just got this morning is a loans and acquisitions company, and my title is Vice President of Marketing. That one is M-F 8:30-5:00. Wow, crazy, huh? I never knew that I would have such an important sounding title. Sounds much better than associate. The final job is just a mystery shopping job, which is nice because I can do it on my own time. So that's that. I can finally feel useful again, and important. The second wonderful thing that happened to me is my wonderful, beautiful, fantastic boyfriend, Joe. I can't tell you how sweet he is, and how much I love that man. It was honestly love at first sight when he came to my place for the first time. He takes such good care of me, cleans up my apartment, buys food for us, takes me out. He is truly the love of my life, and I want to be with him forever and ever. Our anniversary is coming up, so we'll surely be doing something special for that =)

That's my sweet baby, Joe

Resons why I love my neighborhood

2009-08-07T14:58:00.001-05:00

As you may know, I love making lists. So here's another one.
Here are several reasons why I LOVE my neighborhood.
My apartment is 2 blocks from the grocery store!
I live only a few blocks from the subway station.
I live 2 blocks from the post office.
I live 6 blocks from the lake (yay!)
This is an extremely diverse neighborhood...one of the most diverse in the entire world.
There are fantastic restaurants in this neighborhood.
Being by the lake makes it cooler (and windier) in the summertime, thus more comfortable than further inland.
I have a beautiful little condo. 2 bedroom, 1 bath, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, hardwood floors. It's nothing but adorable. I'm bragging a little bit here, but this is my blog, so I do what I want (and normally do!)
I have a fabulous roommate.
I have wonderful neighbors.
The streets are so beautiful with their large trees and pretty buildings.
I'm only 25 minutes from downtown on the train.

8 Reasons Why I love Devon Market

2009-07-23T12:23:00.004-05:00

It's 2 blocks from home. Which is nice in the wintertime.
They have a fantastic deli with meats and cheeses galore.
They have an excellent selection of produce - I normally buy bananas, peaches, asparagus, and zuchinni.
You NEVER wait in line for more than a minute or two!
It's a small and cute little grocery store.
The people who work there are quite nice.
It's cheap! I'll never go to Dominicks or Jewel again!
You see really weird people there to laugh and point at, haha.

Gay in Chicago

2009-07-23T06:58:00.004-05:00

Being gay in Chicago isn't as easy as it may seem. Here is a listing of the things that really stink (or are really nice!)

-You deal with TONS of drama. Ugh.
-You deal with people who don't know what they want. Boyfriend? Fuck buddy? Someone to just date? WHAT?

-Gay people are very friendly...this is a good thing.
-You go to Cocktail
-You go to Marty's
-You go to Roscoes
-You go to Hydrate
-And it's ALWAYS. THE SAME. PEOPLE.
-People play games (that'w why I only date men who are older than I...they know what they want)
-You hang out with someone and then they screw you over (yep that's the younger ones)

Things I love

2009-07-22T16:04:00.002-05:00

You know what I really love? When you are on the subway and you smile at someone you find attractive, or who just looks nice. And they smile back at you. It's the absolute best! I also really like when something funny happens and you start laughing with someone you don't even know. It's hilarious really. It just goes along with what my grammar school principal used to say, "Smile, it's contagious!" :)

Best Disco Dance Songs of All Time (According to Me)

2009-07-20T14:28:00.006-05:00

Last Dance - Donna Summer
Shame - Evelyn Champagne King
MacArthur Park Suite - Donna Summer
Boogie Wonderland - Earth Wind and Fire with the Emotions
Got to be Real - Cheryl Lynn
Rock with You - Janet Jackson
Get on the Floor - Michael Jackson
Best of My Love - The Emotions
Put a Ring On It - Beyonce
Love to Love you Baby - Donna Summer
Romeo and Juliet - Alec R. Constandinos
Lovin is Really My Game - Brainstorm
Disco Nights - GQ
Cerrone's Paradise - Cerrone
Give me Love - Cerrone
Love Masterpiece - Thelma Houston
Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston

Great movies

2009-07-19T18:01:00.004-05:00

Hi everyone - so this is my 100th post. Yay for me! Aren't you proud of me?
So today I'm making another list. This one is of my absolute favorite movies. Let me know what you think!

*The Devil Wears Prada
*Cape Fear
*Silence of the Lambs
*All About Eve
*The Graduate
*Thank God it's Friday
*Saturday Night Fever
*Panic Room
*All About Eve
*Mildred Pierce
*Premonition
*Saw
*Swimfan

Strange people on the Subway

2009-07-11T09:13:00.003-05:00

A crazy

Yesterday I encountered some very interesting characters on the train.

One lady had a really long pinky nail which was dirty underneath it. She asked me for a cigarette, and when I told her I didn't smoke, she started crying! I mean just sobbing! So bizarre, so strange.

Another guy (he looked homeless to me because his shoes were all full of holes) kept asking me and other people for a bus transfer. The CTA hasn't given transfer cards for YEARS. Is he completely out of it?! He asked every single person who got on the bus "Got a transfer?" "Got a transfer?" Of course no one had one.

Yesterday morning when I took the #22 Clark bus from my friend's place, there was this huge lady sitting across from me. It definitely smelled like poo on the bus...I mean like diarrhea poo. When she got up to get off the bus there was a brown wet stain all down the back of her sweatpants. SICK, I thought. Then I started laughing SO hard I couldn't stop. It was really nasty. What was she thinking? Clean yourself up lady!

Finally, someone got on the train and began singing Michael Jackson's "PYT (Pretty Young Thing) which is a wonderful song, and this guy had a wonderful voice. That was a delightful ending to my day with all the crazies!

Smoker's Choice

2009-07-08T22:27:00.003-05:00

The other day I bummed a cigarette from a friend, and it felt oh so good! I couldn't believe how great the smoke felt in my lungs.
I quit smoking in April...I mean cold turkey quit. It felt great too...I could smell better, taste better. I didn't have the flavor of tobacco in my mouth. It was very sexy to give something up that was so addictive. And I didn't even use gum or the patch! I did it all on my own.

But the other day when I had that first cigarette in the morning, after coffee, it just felt so right. It was enjoyable, delightful, and fantastic.

But I cannot start smoking again. I won't start smoking again. I don't want lung cancer or a heart attack at 30! On top of that cigarettes are $9-10 a pack which is just outrageous. I can't afford that on an unemployment salary!

Smoking makes you feel sexy, it makes you feel hot, and it makes you feel cool. But getting bad skin is not something that I want.
I don't want a cigarette voice either. My voice is already a little raspy and so is my laugh. That's probably from smoking for over 10 years! Since I was 15. Yep, we used to smoke on the school bus. We had an old ass bus driver who either couldn't smell, or didn't care. We would just ash out the window and it was so sweet. They sold them to we high schoolers at a little corner market where we used to catch the bus. They also sold beer to some of the older guys. This was before I drank.

So quit smoking! It's not attractive, it's not sexy and your breath will taste like shit. Remember this.

My New Toy

2009-07-06T07:30:00.005-05:00

Look at that beautiful graphic design! I never knew they
would spend so much time on making a computer look sexy!

Have a look at my new toy! It's a beautiful little laptop computer. Yesterday I went to go online and found that the screen was entirely black. I restarted and nothing. Restarted again and nothing. So I carted the damn thing to Best Buy to have them look at it. The guy got it to boot up and show my desktop, but he said it probably had some kind of virus. "Ugh," I thought. Just what I need. I told him that I had the McAfee viris scan, but he said sometimes the viruses still get through, and I can't deal with that. He mentioned that they could be stealing credit card information. Sounds depressing, right? So I walked over to have a look at what was for sale. Most of the computers are $700-1000 and I definitely can't afford that on an unemployment salary. Then I saw it. This beautifully designed Toshiba for $300! I couldn't believe my eyes. I asked about it, how it runs, how fast is it, does it have much storage space. I really only need to get on the internet, check my email, and use Microsoft word to play around with my resume and cover letter. It seemed like just what I needed. So I bought it. It was such a great deal because it comes with Microsoft Office ($150) and 2 years of Norton Anti Virus ($70/yr.) So already I'm pretty close to the $300 that the computer cost and I couldn't refuse. $18/month and 1 year no interest. What a fantastically beautiful deal I got!

SCREAMING babies

2009-07-05T21:01:00.006-05:00

Today I got on the subway after buying a new computer. I was already cranky for having to spend the money on it, even though I needed it and mine crapped the bed this morning. I was also cranky from how hot and sunny it was and I forgot my nice fancy Prada sunglasses :(

So I got onto the train and immediately I could feel that the air conditioning wasn't working. For crying outloud get these damn trains working correctly!

Then I heard it. A crying, screaming, SHREIKING baby. It was so freaking loud and with it being hot as hell on the train, I couldn't handle it anymore. So I got up to go to a different car and 4 other people followed me. The stupid lady who was the baby's mother gave us a dirty look! How can parents let their kids get this way? I would be embarrased as hell and get off the train. Seriously!

Crappy Interview

2009-07-04T08:41:00.002-05:00

This train seems to be moving much faster than mine did yesterday!

Just after my post about doing well at an interview, I screwed it up yesterday. I had an interview at a not for profit agency in which I would be walking around the city and asking people to donate to a charity, Children for America. It would be a great job, talking to people, meeting people, plus it's the summertime and the weather is beautiful. It would kind of stink in the cold of winter, but that's to be dealt with later. I may even have another job by then.

When I left home I was 15 minutes early. It was perfect because I was going to stop at Kinko's and make copies of my resume. Well I got on the subway and it was moving really slowly. "Shit," I thought. This is going to make me late. Then the train stopped at Thorndale for honestly 10 minutes. I don't know what the hell was going on. I called the office and let them know that I was going to be late. I didn't even change trains so I could take the subway right under where the interview was.

When I walked into the office, the lady told me, "You are late!" When I began to tell her that the subway was slow and stopped for several minutes, she cut me right off and told me to fill out an application. Kind of sadly, I walked over and filled it in. But then when I went in to the interview she was quite pleasant to me. She even smiled a few times! When I left I told her that I hoped that my being late didn't jeopardize my getting the job. Today they are supposed to call me to let me know if I have been hired. I hope that's the case because it was great money. $600-1000/week is fantastic. I could live like a rich man on that! We will see how it goes. I also applied to a few restaurants in my neighborhood, H&M, several hotels, tons of retail stores on Michigan Avenue and State Street. Hopefully one of these jobs arises. I definitely need to follow up with some of them.

Abe's Guide to a Good Job Interview

2009-07-03T08:57:00.002-05:00

I'm a damn good interviewee, and I know this. I know what to do, what to say, and how to act.
Always always always shake the interviewers hand firmly and look them in the eye. And for God's sake don't give them a cold hand! If you have to sit on your hand to warm it up, do so as you wait! A firm handshake demonstraits confidence, and that's always a good mood to set.

Always answer questions honestly. People know if you are lying. Did you know that you normally look downward when you are lying, and upward when you are trying to think of a truthful answer. It's true! And pretty interesting too. Body language is very interesting to me.

Speak loudly and with purpose. My sinuses are all clogged up right now, but you don't want to yell. Just show confidence and look the interviewer in the eye when you are speaking and when they are asking questions.

Always bring 2 copies of your resume and 2 copies of your references. This will show them that you always bring back-up copies for good measure.

Dress confidently. You don't necessarily need to wear a suit, especially in the heat of summer. Wear a nice button down shirt, and nice slacks. Men should not wear earrings, necklaces, or rings. This shows the interviewer that you may be too casual.
Women should wear a nice skirt or dress that comes just above the knees. No mini skirts! Mini skirts might show them that you are a slut and you don't want that for sure! Always wear nice shoes that are shined and not dingy or dirty, my big pet peeve. Women should wear heels or flats. And no sandals or flipflops for crying out loud!

I believe black and white are the best colors for interviewing. I usually wear a black shirt with white or khaki slacks. Don't wear pink, purple, or red. You will blind the interviewer! Burgundy would be ok, I think.

I hope these skills will inspire confidence, purpose, and professionalism in your interviewer, and good luck with getting the position!

I'm sooooo OCD

2009-07-02T10:58:00.002-05:00

I enjoy making lists, so here is a list summing up things that I'm obsessive compulsive about. It's kind of crazy, but it's also true. I wrote this list down on the subway yesterday.

-I always have to double check to make sure the doors are locked. Sometimes I even have to go back to my apartment to check!

-I always have to double check that the stove, oven, and coffee maker are off.

-I continually check my pockets to make sure my wallet, phone, and keys are in there.

-I also constantly check my wallet to make sure my checking card hasn't fallen out or I left it somewhere.

-I cannot step on cracks in the sidewalk! I always think of, "Step on a crack and break your mother's back!"

-I always have to double check that the windows are closed. This is my condo and I don't want anyone getting in! Plus I live on a high first floor.

So yes, I'm a little bit crazy but that's what makes things interesting!

My wonderful neighborhood

2009-07-01T08:50:00.004-05:00

Please allow me to brag and boast for a moment. My neighborhood is the BEST damn neighborhood in Chicago. I freaking love it for several very important reasons. First of all, there is an amazing amount of diversity here in Rogers Park/Edgewater. In fact, there are over 50 languages spoken in Rogers Park schools. Christ, I can't even THINK of that many. This neighborhood is one of the most diverse ones in the entire world. Uptown is another far north side Chicago neighborhood which is very diverse. It's really quite fascinating. Another reason I love it here is the fact that there are some fabulous restaurants here. Uncommon Ground, Morseland Cafe, Heartland Cafe, Everyday Thai are just a few of these. There is a huge Indian area further down Devon at Western. I'm not a fan of Indian food myself, but I hear that the restaurants are fabulous. But DO NOT try to drive through here during the day. It's absolutely wild with people in saris running through the street, and delivery trucks pulling out in front of you and horns beeping. It's pure craziness. There are also some fantastic bars and clubs up here on the far north side. Both gay and straight ones, which I think is great because you don't have to live in Boystown to be gay. Some people don't realize that. Just like you don't have to live in Hell's Kitchen or Chelsea to be gay in Manhattan. Everyone lives in harmony! Rogers Park has a great little bodega (as I call it) grocery store type place called Devon Market. It's 2 blocks from my place and it's so great. Awesome produce section, wonderful deli, and it's SO CHEAP! You never stand in line for more than 5 minnutes. They really whip you through the cashier line.
Rogers Park/Edgewater is RIGHT next to the lake. I'm freaking 5 blocks from the lake. It's windy in the wintertime, but being here in the summer makes it all worth it. The high rises along the lakefront are absolutely beautiful, and Hollywood Beach (my favorite beach in Chicago; the gay beach) is 10 blocks from my place.
My neighborhood is so quiet too. Tree lined streets framing the beautiful mid-rise and 3 flat apartment buildings make a walk from the subway at Loyola Avenue nice and shady in the heat of summer.
It's a little rough around the edges up here, which I think makes it interesting. There is a little bit of gang activity, but you find that in any big city in the U.S. There was also a shooting in an alley a few years back, so I don't take the alleys at night (a little scary!)
I used to think it was way too far north for me when I moved here from Uptown, but I've gotten used to it. It's only about 25 minutes to the Loop, which is really perfect.
So think about visiting Rogers Park/Edgewater or even moving here. I guarantee you will grow to love it as I have.

Am I Crazy?

2009-06-30T03:40:00.004-05:00

I've decided to get counseling. Yes folks, I may be a bit crazy at times so this is probably a good thing. My friend, Sarah, talked me into it, as she says that counseling really helps her. She's definitely not crazy either! I've decided to receive it from Howard Brown Health Center, which is a fantastic center especially for gay and lesbian people and for people living with HIV and AIDS. I think it's a fantastic place. There is a sliding scale for payment, and, since I'm unemployed, that's definitely a good thing.

The reason I'm going through all this is because my parents are having a really hard time with my being gay. I mean really hard. It would be hard for anyone, don't get me wrong, but they had to know before I even told them. I mean, come on, I never played any sports in high school or college, I had a ton of girlfriends, I had many gay friends, I like disco music. It's totally obvious! I'm sure they didn't want me to be a homo. But it is what it is. The hardest part was when my father told me not to dress like a fag at a job interview I had. Come ON. Are you serious? It's not ok to use that word around me. At all. Use it around mom, use it around your friends, but not not not around me. It's utterly offensive.

My father also asked me once how I can like men. My answer was that it's a nature thing, there wasn't anything that they did to "turn" me gay. Another reason I like men is that they are much better lovers. They are a man so they know what a man wants in bed! Simple as that.

I've known I was gay since my first semester in college when I first "messed around" with another guy in my dorm. I thought I was only bisexual for a few months, but soon realized that I was definitely into men. Women were friends, men were lovers. At least that was my thought. It's probably my own fault that I didn't tell my parents and sisters until a few years after college, as it just makes it harder. They will be fine. I will seek counseling. My sisters have been just great with it. My mom said if I ever brought a boyfriend home she would be a little wary, but she will get used to it.

So now I'm ready to settle down. Really. I'm passed my slutty hook-up-at-the-bar years (yes I definitely had some of those!). As my friend, Jen, from Seattle used to say, I am an island. I could never keep a boyfriend, I'd play games and not call people back, and just disappear. That's why I don't date younger guys! All done. Too immature for me! I have my life figured out, I have a mortgage to pay, I (need) a job. I would really like a man to be part of my life throughout all this: to laugh at me, to make fun of me, to love me, and to make good love to me. I will say that I met a fabulous chocolate brown man at a bar last week, and he is everything I have ever wanted. He's adorable, beautiful, and just all together great. I told him that too. I really want to be with him, and we will see how things go. His name is Quintin Leonard. Sexy name, right?

So I guess I'm not crazy after all. Maybe just a little nutty.

MJ

2009-06-29T06:24:00.003-05:00

I guess this is a little late since it happened last week, but I'm still in shock about the King of Pop's death. It just seems too hard to believe, doesn't it? And I love how Farrah Fawcet got her coverage in the morning, but Michael Jackson was plastered all over the news by evening. And he still is!

Friday they played tons of MJ on the radio and I was nearly in tears because there is so much love for him all over the world. It's really a shame that kids and babies nowadays may not know him as well as I did and others my own age. I mean remember Thriller? It came out the year of my birth (1982), but we would always listen to it when I was little. I have the LP from my parents. I also used to scare my sisters with the Thriller song where Vincent Price laughs. They would get so freaked out.

Off the Wall was also a great record. Off the Wall, Don't Stop til You Get Enough, and Rock with You are the best songs, but they are all really good. And I love disco. He was such a fabulous dancer and he was such an icon that we will all certainly miss him.

Happy Pride to All!

2009-06-28T07:40:00.006-05:00

Well tomorrow is the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago. It's the event many look forward to for months, aside from Market Days in August. Market Days is a lot more fun in my opinion, as it's more like a festival rather than a parade. But I digress. The Pride Parade brings together people of all nationalities, lifestyles, and creeds. Kids, adults and grandparents. I must say that bringing kids probably isn't the smartest idea when you have half naked men dancing on a float humping each other. I wouldn't want my 5-year old seeing that. Would you?

Pride is also fun because you meet tons of people from all over the world who have come to Chicago to see this fabulous event. New York, London, Sao Paulo, Los Angeles, Seattle, Paris. I'm just naming a few of the places from which I have met people in years past. It's a fantastically delicious time, because I love people from other areas, neighborhoods, towns, cities, et cetera. I can't even describe it.

And it's pure craziness on Halsted Street in the middle of Boystown. The clubs have their windows open on the street with people yelling out, people are on balconies overlooking the street, there's loud music everywhere, glitter all over the street, streamers falling from the sky. It's just so wildly crazy and exciting.

I would love to get to New York to see their Pride show. I bet it's a crazy time as well. San Francisco would also be a riot. And believe it or not, I also have heard that Milwaukee has a fun Pride celebration. I know. It seems ridiculous, since Milwaukee is kind of teeny tiny compared to Chicago. But maybe I'll get up there sometime. Milwaukee always "tries" to be like Chicago. But once again, I digress. So everyone here in the city, please try and make it to the Gay Pride Parade. I promise you it will be a time to remember, gay or straight.

Useless

2009-06-22T09:21:00.003-05:00

The feeling of being useless is the absolute worst. For instance currently I am unemployed. I've had a few interviews and am waiting to hear back from some others, but it just makes me feel damn irresponsible! Not that I'm complaining about being able to spend my whole day at the beach or biking/walking down the lakefront. At least I'm not at my parents' house in the burbs. There are plenty of things to do in the city, and when I was in the burbs, I think it was seriously taking a toll on my health! I was crazy depressed. I hope one of these jobs comes along, because it would be nice to work during the week and be off on the weekend, like the rest of the world.

But I've been seeing the most wonderful and adorable man who is also unemployed currently and I have enjoyed getting to know him on a personal level. His name is Eric, and he really is fantastic, which is something that I think I really need right now. So while I most definitely will not get a job in my urban design profession, I would really like something in the administrative assistant or customer service sector. The design profession is doing horribly right now. There is absolutely no work. Even when things really turn around it's going to be a very long time until things bounce back. And with that I'm really ok. I think I need a bit of a break from it all and do something much easier for the time being. It doesn't have to be permanent by any means. I've been looking for jobs on Craig's List and I swear if I get one more freud email asking for my social security number I'm going to go apeshit. It's ridiculous really. Alright it's really hot out, and I think it's time to go exercise with Eric. Love ya's!

That's so gay

2009-06-19T17:10:00.003-05:00

This is kind of a public service announcement. The last one of these I sent out was regarding Puking on the Subway on New Years Eve. Gross. But this one involves another kind of rudeness. And that is straight people (my dad, frat boys, etc.) calling gay people fags or queens. I want you all to know that can really hurt! It's obvious that you have never been through being a fag, but it's definitely not ok to say things like that. Someone (who will remain nameless) told me not to sit like a fag at my job interview. What the FUCK? Are you kidding me?
a.) I am a fag.
b.) I'll sit however the hell I see fit.

Now gay people call people fags and fairies and queens all of the time. I don't see any problem with that. It's like black people calling each other niggers. If you are white you are sure as hell not going to say that. You'd get your ASS beat. But with them it's almost a term of endearmment. But as I said before, it is NOT OK for straight people to say things like that. It's rude and it shows a hell of a lot of disrespect. Especially if it's a family member. It shows idiocy, rudeness, and disrespect. Same thing goes for younger kids who call things "gay." "That math test was so gay." Do you know what you are really saying? You are saying that the math test was a homosexual. Sounds kind of ridiculous, right?

And remember: there are so many gay people in the music industry, movie industry, theatre industry, and any other industry for that matter. So it seems rediculous to put us down like that. Ok I'm off my soapbox now :)

Tell someone how you feel

2009-06-19T09:17:00.002-05:00

I want you all to know how fantastic it feels to tell someone exactly how you feel about them. I've been a lot better about this lately. Last night I was out having some cocktails on Halsted, when the cutest, most adorable, and handsome man came walking towards me. It was like a romance movie. I grabbed his arm and whispered in his ear, "You are absolutely adorable. Has anyone told you that?" A few words later he had my phone number. When I got home, he had texted me and asked if I made it home alright. So nice!

Earlier in the evening, I was at another club where this HUGE muscle guy was walking towards me. When he passed me I said, "Damn those arms are HUGE! I can't believe it!" He just kept walking, so I guess he wasn't having anything to do with me. But that's ok. At least I was honest. Once again, telling people how you feel

Another example is when you absolutely can't stand someone. This isn't too common with me, but it sure feels good when it happens. Like in a store or restaurant when someone is acting like an idiot. The other thing I hate is when you are a customer somewhere (seems like it's usually the door guy at a bar), and you walk up, show them your I.D. and say, "Hey how are you doing?" And they don't answer. I normally say, "Does that mean things are good?" They usually catch themselves in this asshole move, but it feels really good. How about you guys? I'm sure Subway Gal has told people how she feels at some point =)

Man Dresses Up as Dead Mother

2009-06-18T08:11:00.003-05:00

I was prety much appaled this morning, when on the news, they talked about this man in Brooklyn, New York who dresses up as his dead mother to collect her (social security?) checks. He's been doing this for 6 years apparently. What in God's name? I guess when his mother died he gave them the wrong social security number, so hers was never recorded. I mean this man is really sick. He needs to be in an instituted, but at the same time it's actually really funny. Check out this picture (she's...or he's on the left):

CREEPY! I don't even think I would help this old lady across the street. I can just hear her squalking like an old crow as she collects checks from the bank. Crazy town, I tell you.

Season of Festivals!

2009-06-14T08:36:00.008-05:00

Orlando, Dillon, Ian, and I at Sofo

Chicago is known for its street festivals. It seems that every weekend during the summer has many festivals to choose from. This weekend was ribfest (I think ribs are disgusting personally) and Midsomerfest in Andersonville. Always a good crazy time, we chose the later. Hot men all over the place with their shirts off, dancing in the street, everyone is so chatty and beautiful, all of the clubs have their windows open on the street. It's a great time! And next weekend is Gay Pride, so it will be two crazy weekends in a row. I'm completely ok with that! The weather is supposed to be beautiful, and I actually think I will bike to Hollywood beach today and lay soak up some sun :)

Seth and I on Clark St.

Ian and I at Atmosphere

Beautiful Sunny Morning

2009-06-12T11:21:00.013-05:00

If you've ever wondered what Chicago looks like on a beautiful sunny morning, here's your chance. I was out early this morning to run some errands, and it was about 60 and very sunny. Quite a difference from yesterday's 50 and cold cold rain.

Beautiful and very pricey River North

Had to get one of me on the train :)

Here's Granville Ave at the lake. You can ALMOST see the blue water!

Here's a shot of Edgewater with the train going by

This is Edgewater Beach, really pretty neighborhood next to mine. The asshole in the building to the right yelled at me when I went to go take a picture of the skyline. "This is private property, no taking pictures!" He screamed. "That's a real shame," I said. What I really wanted to say was, "You sure get off on telling people what to do you prick. Plus he was pasty white and fat. I doubt anyone liked him in school. It must stink to be made fun of all the time.
Wow, I sure feel better now!

A colonoscopy gone bad

2009-06-10T06:06:00.005-05:00

Many of you may know that I had a colonoscopy in April. Probably because I talk about it all the time. You see, my family seems minorly obsessed with poo, and I have certainly taken the lead on that one.

So I'm supposed to get this colonoscopy, right? This doctor is seriously a joke and I'll tell you why. I can't even remember his name or I'd mention it right here and now. The day before my colonoscopy was scheduled for I called the doctor's office to verify the time for the next day. "How'd you like that juice?" he asked. "What juice?" I retorted. "The juice that will clean out your system. Oh crap, I guess I forgot to tell you." Are you f-ing kidding me? You're the doctor. These are things that you are supposed to know! I mean I suppose I thought I should just take some Ex-Lax and call it a night. So by the time I called him and found this out it was 6:00 in the evening. I went to CVS and bought this "juice" that was a gallon container. How in God's name am I supposed to drink an entire gallon by the time I go to bed in 4 hours? There is NO WAY. I would drown my self. But I sure tried.

The next day when I got to the appointment, I told him that I couldn't finish it with such little notice. I guess he still wanted to try, but I was kind of scared because if the path isn't clear in the colon he could puncture it, and then I'd have to carry around a bag from my side. At lease that's what my sister told me and she's a nurse. I trust her every judgement! Honestly, could you imagine me walking around with a bag of poo hanging off my side like I'm some old man? Sick!

The doctor took a bunch of pictures inside my colon and they are seriously a bunch of really gross pictures. I'm sure I was no help whatsoever, but he should learn to give people some headway for the "juice!"

Adam Lambert is Gay

2009-06-09T19:27:00.005-05:00

So Adam Lambert finally came out to the world! How brave of him. Not only is he brave, but he's also friggin hot! And he has a fantastic voice. Michael Jackson week was amazing! What's with all my posts about hot guys recently?! Maybe now he'll move to Chicago and date me.

The weird thing is, the makeup and body glitter he wears really look good on him! And his black hair looks great too. And I don't usually like guys with makeup and body glitter. Ladies, what do you think?

Disgusting walk

2009-06-08T09:24:00.003-05:00

My friend, Subway Gal, reminded me of something that happened to me a few months back (read the blog she writes with some other girls, she is HILARIOUS!) I had just gotten on the subway in my neighborhood when I smelled something absolutely disgusting. Where in God's name is that coming from? It smelled like baby shit (if you've never smelled baby shit it's pretty damn nasty, even nastier than my own shit, which I smell daily!)

Finally I realized it was coming from me. Or, rather, the bottom of my shoe. Sick! I made a whole train smell that, and I bet they all knew it was me. Why wouldn't someone tell me? I would tell someone if I noticed something like that.

At the next stop I flew out the door and scraped my shoe on the platform leaving a nasty brown skid. Poor folks who were sitting on the bench. I got back on the train as soon as the doors closed. When I got home, I noticed the poo that I stepped in a mere 3 blocks from my building. There was a shoe print and everything, and it looked like my shoe slid on the sidewalk. How sick. Bring a goddamn bag folks! Or at least push it off into the parkway. Then I wouldn't stink up an entire train car! Lordy.

On another note: I have an interview as an Administrative Assistant at a high school on the west side and I'm super excited about it! Wish me luck!

So good to be home.

2009-06-04T19:02:00.003-05:00

Being back home is great. Sleeping in my own bed, showering in my own shower, and having access to all of my movies has felt just wonderful. I'm sure you all know what I mean.

Today was busy. I biked 12 miles around the city and applied to a bunch of positions, mostly at boutiques, salons, and clothing stores in Lincoln Park and in Boystown. I made some connections with some of the people, so I think that's a good thing! Tomorrow I'm going to be in Andersonville and Edgewater, on State Street, and the Gold Coast at some other places. I've got a lunch date with my friend, Sarah, so that will be a nice break.

I have a good feeling from today, so I pray that something turns up. I also had Chipotle for dinner, so things have to be good!

And thank God I have a bunch of movies. If I have to watch Family Guy one more time, I just might barf all over the tv (I don't have cable).

I will definitely keep evereyone posted!

Michigan

2009-06-03T13:46:00.004-05:00

Sorry I've been M.I.A. lately! I've been on vacation for a week in Michigan with my friends. We had such a great time, although the drive almost killed me! It was 8 hours from Chicago with a car that was packed to the gills.

In Michigan the weather was fairly chilly; only in the 50s until the last day when it was almost 60. Wish I had come prepared! We got tons of exercise from walking up the dunes (largest fresh water dunes in the world!), which is extremely difficult because the sand keeps falling away from under your feet. We also biked for several hours, and the sandy soil mixed with a bike almost made me have a heart attack!

Sleeping was wonderful there. It rained a few nights, and that always makes for good sleeping too.

I also came to an exciting conclusion while in Michigan. I'm going to move back to the city! I'm extremely excited, and am going to look for jobs this weekend. I'm pretty hopeful, but we will see. Keep your fingers crossed! I can't stay at my parents house doing nothing for one more day! I've applied to several ebay listings including some at some little clothing boutiques which I'm kind of jazzed about. I'm verey interested in fashion if you didn't know it! I didn't think I was ready to work, but this vacation really proved to me that I am.

So that's why I'm super excited to head down to the city tommorow. To find work!

Things that make me crazy

2009-05-24T21:13:00.009-05:00

There are certain things in my life that make me absolutely crazy. Things that could drive me wild and turn me into a rabid fool, and I doubt you'd want to see that:

People being late
Oh my God this is the worst. Mainly because I'm always the one who's on time, and usually a little early. But half an hour late to meet for a drink? Come on! An hour late to come to the beach while I sit on a blanket by myself for an hour? Good God (you know who you are, haha!). I also hate when someone tells you they will be at your house to pick you up at a certain time, and then they are 45 minutes late. That's rediculous! I would say 10 minutes is acceptable in any case.

Passwords
Don't you hate when you have to fill out an online account for something that you don't use very often, and you forget the password? Oye that drives me crazy! Trying to remember your user name, asking it to send you a new password via email. There are honestly some sites that I use so rarely that I have them send me a new password everytime I log on. Dumb.

Licking/wild Dogs
These small dogs can usually be found in the home with a long probing tongue and crap in the corner of their eyes. And their tongue normally finds whatever I'm eating, bothers my feet, jumps all over me, or barks incessantly at the other dog across the yard. My mom and dad's dog is so wild, she pulled me on the floor when I was putting on her coller. She's always smelling your crotch or sniffing your pantleg. Her nose is always sniffing on you and it's so strong! Ugh. I think I hate animals.

Country music
'Nuff said

People who try to tell me what I know
This friend of my dad's always tries to act smart and tell me things about my field of work. He's not even in my line of work! Then I try to argue with him and just get frustrated thinking he's an idiot. He's one of those people who just thinks everyone is their friend, and tries to shake my hand when he sees me (like he's my best friend). How about a hug buddy?

People who walk slowly/don't move to the right
I get insane sometimes. Like the other night after I went to a 6th grade play, we were starving and were going to run to the bathroom before getting a bite to eat. The line was long and only about as narrow as I am, but it was moving. The guy ahead of me kept stopping and talking to people going the other way. Smart ass comments too. Come on there are people behind you! And some of them may or may not have to go pee! This applies on the street as well. MOVE OVER!

People who don't pick up and go at at a stop sign or light
I think this is mostly the difference between city drivers and suburb drivers. Get up and go, the light is green! You've been waiting at the stop sign for 20 minutes, no one is coming! It's a good thing I really drive because I would have crazy road rage at times like these. My sister does and it makes me want to lay on the horn, even bump them a little bit. Couldn't hurt.

So these are the things that make me so crazy I could just spit! Or spit in the face of humanity, I'm not sure which. Why don't you share some things that you absolutely loathe?

Chicago Sadness

2009-05-23T06:51:00.002-05:00

As most of you probably know (since I talk about it ALL the time), I've been unemployed since mid-March. At first, it was ok. I could pretty much do what I wanted every day, go to the grocery store without it being absoluely packed, etc. And especially now, since it's beginning to be all warm and summery outside, and, what's that? I don't have to be at work?

But it all turns around when I realize that the unemployment check is not nearly enough to pay the mortgage and the bills. Thus I will NOT be in Chicago this summer. I'll be staying at my mom and dad's in the 'burbs. Not much to do, kind of open, you have to drive EVERYWHERE. It's a very sensitive subject with me, because I've said it before and I'll say it again: Chicago lakefront in the summertime is one of my favorite things in the entire world. Getting ice cream with a few friends in a neighborhood sweet shop is the best. Just being in the city in the summertime is the absolute best. So needless to say I'm quite depressed about this little problem with the dang mortgage. At least my sister may like to move into my place and pay me rent, so I don't have to sell it. We'll keep it in the family :)

So here's to all of you: if you have a job, don't complain! Be happy that you do, and that you can pay the rent, because it really, really stinks when you don't.

Poop much?

2009-04-05T17:11:00.001-05:00

I found this really funny and gross video, and, of course, I have to share it with the world. Pay close attention:

Confessions

2009-03-26T09:12:00.002-06:00

I stole this one from my friend, Rachel, because it looked like a lot of fun. Thanks, Rachel! Hope you don't mind!
Confession Survey

1)What is your blogger name? Abe

2) When is your birthday? May 20th

3) How long have you been blogging? Since January 2007

4) Who tagged you? I couldn't tell you.

5 ) Tell me your 5 most favorite body parts: Well, I think I have pretty nice eyes, I really like my lean figure. I think my nose is kind of cute. I also have a kind of nice butt when I wear the right pants.

6) What do you wish most for your birthday? I don't really care to get anything for my birthday, other than a nice dinner out!

7) What color are your nails now? Always the same: natural.

8) Any depressing thoughts lately? Needing to get a job in this damn shitty economy! Seriously there is nothing. Anywhere.

9) What's your next 1 month's plan? HOPEFULLY to get a job since I don't want to deplete all my savings.

10) At what age did you have your 1st crush? I think it was second grade when I had a major crush on Brandi Payne. We used to eat bologna and mustard sandwiches, which sounds absolutely disgusting today.

11) Did you attend any school reunion after you graduated till now? No, we didn't have a 5-year one, but 10-year is next summer.

12) Have you ever passed gas in public and pretended you didn't smell anything? Oh man, all the time.

13) Are you a clean freak? I wouldn't say a freak, but I do keep my place pretty clean. Once in awhile I'm super lazy with laundry folding.

14) Which era do you wish you were born into? Probably the 50s, so by the time the 70s rolled around I'd be old enough to disco.

15) Are you a vegetarian? I'm not, but I eat very little meat. I just don't really like it.

16) How many pillows do you sleep with at night? 2 thin pillows.

17) Are you a light sleeper or an I-don't-care-if-there's-a-bomb-here sleeper? Lately I've been a pretty light sleeper, but normally I'd say that I'm midway between really light and ready for a bomb to drop.

18) Do you secretly wear comfortable granny panties when your man is not around? I don't have a man to be around. But I always have good underpants on. Always.

19) What is your ultimate dream job? I would say marketing or graphic design work is something I would really love. I have a ton of experience in 3-D modeling, and with Creative Suite, and would love to do some small scale publishing.

20) What is it your hubby does that annoys you the most? No hubby!

21) What is your dream car? I never care to have a car.

23) Do you like hairy men? Not at all.

24) How about goateed men? Nope. Goatee looks too "Indiana" for me.

25) Which one would you prefer, 2 hour spa, 2 hour Thai Massage or 2 hour foot massage? Mmm, I would say the Thai Massage. When I was in San Francisco earlier this month, we got a 1-hour massage, and the little teeny Asian ladies walked on our back. It felt so great, I just wanted to lay there forever. And it was only $40. For an HOUR!

26) Have you ever wished you had a different name other than your real name? When I was little I always wanted a more common name. Like Robert, Jason, Justin. But now I'm SO glad my parents aren't so dumb. I love my name: Abraham.

27) What is the most extreme sport you have ever done? I'm pretty boring as far as this is concerned. The wildest thing I've done is run with the shopping cart.

28) Do you prefer traveling in Europe or Asia? I would loooove to go to Europe.

29) What is your favorite food? Sushi. I could absolutely, positively, live on it. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

30) What is the most embarrassing moment when you were out on a date? Probably when I gassed really loudly after having a bunch of beers at the bar. Ooops!

Commercials

2009-03-25T09:12:00.002-06:00

Since I've been unemployed, I've been watching way more TV than I ever have. And I'm noticing that commercials are really horrible and played way too many times. Here are a few examples of ones that I loathe:

Safe Auto
Oh my God this one is so annoying. "1-800-Safe Auto...." Seriously, we know! That damn jingle is in the head of everyone in Chicago. We don't need you to play it everytime you go to commercial!

McDonald's Filet of Fish
Seriously, this one is the worst. "Give me back that little fish. Give me that fish." I find my self singing the stupid jingle in my head more times than I ever care to admit.

White Castle
First of all: gross. I think White Castle is the most disgusting place. It stinks in there, and looks like way more grease than I'd ever like to ingest. But the commercial where people are being followed by a White Castle bag is just creepy. I shudder whenever that one comes on.

Peter Francis Geraci
This one is so freaking annoying, I can't stand it. Peter has probably the most annoying, monotone voice I have ever heard. How is he in sales? Why isn't he sitting behind his desk and letting someone more personable do the commercials? We will never know.

Progressive
The girl on these commercials is so peppy, I can't stand it. And the guys are such dorks! I mean I know they want to get people's attention, but come on. That's just annoying.

What commercials do you find rediculous and annoying?

It's Not Right, but it's OK. I'm gonna make it anyway.

2009-03-17T19:10:00.003-06:00

This afternoon I was laid off from my job. It still hasn't sunken in yet, but I'm sure tomorrow it will. I won't say that I didn't see it coming, as I'm no prude to the state of our economy right now. And I know tons of others who have met this same misfortune. I'm not even saying that I never thought it could happen to me. I'm not so proud. I actually didn't think my company would need to do this. We are a small firm, only 12 or so people, and it seems that all of the small firms are still doing decently. Either way it was sure a shock. I thought I was going to pass out when they called me to the back conference room with my project manager and the two principals. I knew what it meant, and I just wanted to go home immediately. I didn't even want to listen to what needed to be said. I felt sick in my stomach, and weak.

I was on the phone the whole way home catching people up, seeing what my mom and dad said, et cetera. Then I got home and my neighbor had left me a flower and a card on the door (for another reason), and it was so nice! It pepped me up a little.

And now I'm just sitting on the couch smoking a bunch of cigarettes (yeah good move), because I'm stressed and they make me feel better. Bad, I know. But right now I need vice!

Tomorrow I'm having breakfast with my father to formulate a game plan, and then headed to the unemployment office. Gosh I sound like a street case. Anyway, I'm not trying to depress anyone with this post. BUT just wanted you know know how I feel.

Everyone please please try to work extre, extra, extra hard at work! It will really come to mind if and when they need to lay people off. I worked very hard at my company, but sometimes, when it comes down to it, they are forced to make decisions that are really tough. Especially when it comes to layoffs.

Songs

2009-03-12T19:09:00.002-06:00

So I decided to steal a friend's idea for a post of the first 15 songs you come to when you put your mp3 player on random. So here goes. Let me know if anyone shares some favorites :)

1.) Shame - Evelyn Champagne King
2.) It's Not Right, But it's Ok - Whitney Houston
3.) Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross
4.) He Wasn't Man Enough - Toni Braxton
5.) Forget Me Nots - Patrice Rushen
6.) Love to Love You, Baby - Donna Summer
7.) Love Hangover - Diana Ross
8.) Sittin Up in my Room - Brandy
9.) Independent Woman - Destiny's Child
10.) Jump - Madonna
11.) I'm So Excited - Pointer Sisters
12.) I Don't Wanna Lose Your Love - The Emotions
13.) You're Gonna Make me Love Somebody Else - The Jones Girls
14.) I'm Back for More - Jean Carn and Al Johnson
15.) Something He Can Feel - Aretha Franklin

Give these a listen. They are mostly old school, but you might like them!

Apologies

2009-03-12T08:23:00.002-06:00

Sorry everyone! I've been super busy, and sick, and out of town. But I am going to try to blog this weekend. Stay tuned!

Crutch Lady

2009-03-07T10:26:00.001-06:00

I was at Devon Market yesterday buying some groceries for neighbors who were coming to dinner. I had everything planned, just had to pick up the supplies. I rounded a corner in the busy store, and hear a metallic "clicking" sound, and look up to see a lady on crutches TRUCKING towards me. I'm talking faster than the Amtrack here, and I instantly feared for my life. So I turned around and headed to the produce section. I was minding my business, and all of a sudden a hand reached next to me to get cucumbers. When I turned around it was the CRUTCH LADY! No explanation is feasible as to how she snuck up behind me without the "click, click, click, click" of crutches...NONE whatsoever. I smiled nervously at her ratty hair and then made my way to another section, this time the dairy section. Behind me, in the next aisle, I could hear the "click click click" of metal crutches on the tile floor, moving at an exceptional speed. This lady must have been champion in getting around on one foot. I sped to the other end of the aisle where she met me and asked, with a thick tongue, "How'd you beat me?" I wanted to pipe up "LADY, you and your crutches scare the SHIT out of me, and stay away!" But one more look at that ratty hair made me think better of getting all tangled in that situation, so I proceeded to the checkout to get the heck out of that store.

Moral of the story? BEWARE, for the lame are none to tangle with.

Pedophile

2009-02-25T19:01:00.001-06:00

Last week one morning on my way to work, I saw a real life pedophile...in action. Now I'm no prude, and I'm definitely not naiive...you see it all in this city. Especially when exposed to the throngs of people on public transit everyday in a city of three million. You see everything....people having sex at 3:00 in the morning, smoking pot, eating sushi, ugly people, beautiful people, fancy people, poor people, and rich people. You hear people having arguments on the phone, talking to one another about very private details, hitting on one another, laughing at someone across the aisle, et cetera, et cetera. However, nothing has ever turned my stomach like it did at 8:00 when I was on the subway. This 50ish guy, who got on at my same stop, and sat across from me (so we were facing each other over the aisle) was acting very strangely...he had a tick, and he kept staring very intensely at other people...I mean really gazing. Everyone was taking notice. Then every few seconds he would let out a very sharp cough, causing nearly everyone around him to jump; myself included. Everytime he would let this out, I'd look up at him from my paper because he was not covering his mouth. When he coughed, he looked like a cat choking on a hairball the way his tongue flapped out of his mouth. He instantly gave me the creeps in this way. When a teenaged girl got on a few stops later, she sat right next to him....I wanted to warn her but there was no way!
Eventually, it started getting much more crowded, and I could no longer see the man sitting right across from me. I did, however, catch a glimpse of him moving his hand onto the girl's leg! My eyes were probably huge, and then before I knew it, the girl got up and got off the train at the next stop...very abruptly, and there was a slight commotion caused by the people standing. I can only imagine what might have occured; people kept blocking my view, but when it was all over, I noticed the man staring at me again, through a small gap in the people standing between us. Ayyorrrannnghghhh.....it gave me major chills, so I got of the train a few stops early and walked the rest of the way to the office. People like this make me want to vomit! A lot! What is wrong with you??!!
Then on my way home that evening, I thought I spied this old man taking a picture of me with his camera phone...although I'm pretty sure I was just being paranoid.

Gross.

Galos Caves

2009-02-22T19:58:00.004-06:00

This afternoon I had a fantastically intriguing experience at the Galos Caves on the far west side of the city. It's a Polish spa establishment in which you lay in a faux salt cave for 45 minutes while you listen to relaxing music and sounds of the sea in near darkness.

Now it may seem a bit cheesy (it did to me too), but the interesting part is that they have actually imported all of the salt from Poland! The walls are made of bricks of it, and there are stalactite-looking structures hanging from the ceiling. I'm sure those are man made, but the atmosphere is really great. They recommend that you wear white socks, because the ground is covered with several inches of crushed salt, and you don't walk into there with shoes. It was a tad painful on the bottom of my feet, but nothing too terrible.

I sat down in my reclining chair, and was out like a light. The feeling of the air in there is very different and very relaxing. My poor sister was very hungover, so she kept having to get up and visit the bathroom (she was a trooper, I would have petered out and stayed home).

All in all it was a really cool experience. I would highly recommend this place, Galos Caves, for those who are in Chicago. For others, you might try googling "Polish Salt Caves" or something to that effect. You will likely get the real caves in Poland, but you will probably find others as well.

Random Thoughts

2009-02-17T20:58:00.002-06:00

Sorry for not posting in almost a week! I've been super busy...you know how it goes. This is going to be very random, but randomness can be good, right?

I got my taxes done. Whoo hoo! It only took me about a half hour, and I also got my return already. Good times. If you don't use TaxCut, I would highly recommend it. I've been using it for about 5 years and never had any problems. It makes it extremely easy to e-file, so you never have to worry about sending anything in. You also can have the return deposited into your checking account without even having to think about it.

Secondly, one of my poor parakeets died. I know it seems small, but I had two of them who just loved each other! Now it's sad because the one who's still living is just pacing and pacing in the cage because he's not sure what to do! I'm wondering if he might die also, since birds form really tight bonds with each other. Of course, I don't want that to happen, but I'm just being realistic. Parakeets normally only live 3 years, and I've had these for 2, so I suppose it's a bit premature.

Thirdly, I've been eating SO MUCH candy lately. What's up with that? I mean I have a sweet tooth, but don't really buy too much candy because as soon as I do it's GONE in a day. No matter how big the bag is. I swear, it's a wonder I still have all my teeth and don't weigh 800 pounds. But Friday I ate a whole bag of conversation hearts. Yesterday I ate ANOTHER bag of conversation hearts. Today I ate almost a whole bag of tootsie pops, and tonight I ate a ton of Laffy Taffy. Geez. Help me. Good thing I have good dental insurance and a fantastic dentist. I might have to get dentures.

And finally, the song I've been loving lately and cannot get out of my head is an oldie, but a goodie. "You're Gonna Make Me Love Somebody Else," by the Jones Girls. Check it out sometime!

A ghost in my apartment?

2009-02-11T19:29:00.002-06:00

I just may have a ghost in my apartment. That's right, a ghost. I normally love freaking myself out...something about it really gets me going. But the other night when I woke up around 2am, I was way too freaked out to go back to sleep, for almost the entire rest of the night.

It all started when my neighbor, Crissie, told me that twice in one week she woke up to find the lamp on her nightstand turned on. Weird, huh? She was positive she hadn't done it, even in her sleep. She asked me if I'd seen anything out of the ordinary, and I told her no. In the 4 years I've lived in this building, I've never seen anything suspicious. At least not from the non-living. We certainly have our share of hoodlums in this neighborhood, but that's another story.

The building I live in is a 3-story, 12-unit brick building that was built around 1915. It's got great detailing, has large old triple windows with big sills, fabulous hardwood floors, and high ceilings. I love it. However, I have no doubt that, given its age, many people have died here. Wouldn't you think? I will also say that as many times as I've had to go down to the cellar, where my storage unit is, I've never been freaked out or scared. Much less so than I used to get in my parents' house which was new in 1998. So that's it, nothing has ever given me reason to be scared in this apartment. Until the other night.

About a week after my neighbor told me about her lamp going on in the middle of the night, I awoke around 2am with a start. I nearly sat right up in bed. When I looked around, I noticed that my alarm clock was blinking like the power had gone out. I thought that was a bit strange, but I reset it immediately for fear I might not wake up at the right time if the clock was off. It was then that I realized my bathroom light was on. Freaky! Why the hell was the bathroom light on? I instantly had a chill run down the back of my neck. There was no way I was going to get up and turn it off. Something might get me! From underneath my bed, perhaps? So I lay there for at least an hour just completely freaked out, wide-eyed, and afraid to get out from under the covers. Eventually I drifted back to sleep, but it was a very light sleep, and full of tossing and turning.

In the morning when it was light out, I finally had the guts to get up like normal. Ghosts don't come out in the light, right? At least that's how I justified it to myself. I also noticed the next morning that a box of candy in the kitchen was all ripped and torn like something had been going through it. It's not a rat or mouse, I'm sure of it.

Either way, I hope whatever has been causing a ruckus stops messing with my sleep schedule! Anyone have good ghost stories they want to share in the meantime?

My first bit of hatemail

2009-02-08T08:30:00.003-06:00

You may all remember the above picture from awhile back when I made the post about moustaches. Well, the other day, T.M.B. made a comment on the post: "Hey that guy in the pic happens to be the coolest history teacher in the world. So how bout u give him a brake if u actually met him an seen his personality u would know that it fits him." I want to encourage anyone and everyone to leave comments on here...good OR bad. Believe me, I can handle it. But this one in particular made me a little confused, so I thought I'd set the record straight.

1.) This is MY blog, so I can and will write about whatever and whoever I want. Your encouraging me to give someone a break will have no effect whatsoever.

2.) If you read the post in question, at no time do I even reference the picture. So your telling me to give him a "brake" is to no avail.

3.) Break is spelled "break." Third grade spelling.

4.) "And" has a 'd' at the end.

5.) I have no problems with the guy in the pic. He just happened to be on Google at the right time when I was looking for an image with some crazy facial hair. Get over it!

6.) And the final point I want to make. If he is indeed your teacher. TELL HIM TO SHAVE!

Shudder

2009-02-05T15:23:00.005-06:00

There's this person I've been seeing lately in the mornings on the train. He really bugs me, so I thought I'd write about him. He's ALWAYS wearing the same thing, and that is: really baggy (not even semi-stylish in 1995 baggy) jeans, an oversized jean jacket, and a baseball cap with Chinese letters on it. Now. Let that image roll through your head for a minute. He also has long stringy hair, glasses, is in his early 20s, and is easily 6'-5" tall. Bad, bad, bad. Sometimes I just wish I could take a ruler and smack his hand to snap him out of it. How does he leave home in the morning wearing SO MUCH denim? I'll bet his couch is also denim, as well as a couple of denim pillows and a comforter thrown in.

So I've been seeing him a few times a week on the subway lately, but this morning he happened to bring his breakfast with him. His "breakfast" was an entire litre of Mountain Dew, and a Zinger. If you don't know what a Zinger is, it's a chocolate cake with white cream filling like you might get in a vending machine. Sick. For breakfast? I'm surprised he hasn't been kicked out of this city yet. When you're on the move in Chicago, for breakfast, you have your bagel, or your kashi, or your granola, but for heaven's sake, you do not eat a gooey chocolate thing with a Mountain Dew! Especially when you are cheek to cheek with hundreds of yuppies and other professionals on the subway. If you must do this, do it at home, alone, behind locked doors. It would do us all some good. Honestly, I could not imagine downing a huge litre of Mountain Dew first thing in the morning. Or any time of day, for that matter. The thought of it just makes my teeth hurt and my stomach upset. But that breakfast, coupled with the Canadian tuxedo just made the entire picture complete.

Seriously, I think that an intervention may be possible in the near future. I only wish I had the guts to snap a picture of this guy.

Saturday Outing

2009-02-01T09:40:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I had a wonderful outing in the afternoon to the Museum of Contemporary Art. "Who cares?" you may say. "I have a membership and go there ALL the time." Well good for you. It's a wonderful museum. I think the thing I like the best, besides the art installations of course, is the fact that you can make it though the entire museum in about 2 1/2 hours or so. That's it. Everything. It's not like the Art Institute where you are there ALL afternoon, and you only saw about 1/8 of the entire collection, if you ran everywhere.

The exhibits at the MCA are also fantastic. Some of them can be semi-disturbing, but come on! This is CONTEMPORARY art. In this CONTEMPORARY society we are naughty, raunchy, off-base, and crude. So that's what we see.

Not only did we see all 4 floors in just a couple of hours, but the large windows in the common (non-exhibition) spaces offer sweeping and amazing views of the skyline and the lake. If you haven't caught on yet, we Chicagoans refer to Lake Michigan as "the lake." It's the only one, there is no other, and don't try to correct us. You might have to be severely punished.

The other perk (I know I get excited about the littlest things) is that they have FREE coat check. Yes, free. Aren't you tired of going to nightclubs and restaurants and paying $5 for them to hang your coat up? And then you have to tip them on top of that? I definitely am. So this was pretty nice, because I didn't want to lug that thing around the entire museum.

Friends, if you live here, please try and make it to the MCA soon. I am always reminded that I need to go there more often. Even for First Fridays which is a social event they host the first Friday of the month, which is really more like a huge nightclub. And if you don't live here? Well, I guess you're out of luck, but that means you should definitely have this place on your list of places to visit when you do come to Chicago. In fact, I'll even take you there myself!

Ugly Ugly Ugly

2009-01-26T19:58:00.005-06:00

I want to complain about the ugliest building I have ever seen. Not only is it uglier than sin, but it's also the worst possible selection for it's location.

The building I'm talking about is the Near North Branch of the Chicago Public Library (above).

First of all, let's talk about building materials. Chicago prides itself on architectural detailing, and is a Mecca for Architecture students around the world because of our fabulous historic architecture. Why, oh why, then was this library built using concrete block? So ugly, so low-budget, so out of place. It looks like it belongs in the suburbs.

Secondly, while all of the adjacent buildings are high rise apartment buildings, offices, and stores, the library is a measly 1-story building that is, to say the least, unimpressive. Why waste the valuable air and zoning rights, which so obviously might let you go 40 or 50 stories? Why sacrifice tons more possible real estate value by allowing a one story building in this district? Heaven only knows.

When compared with some of the other libraries in the City (there are 79 branches to the CPL), this one is truly put to shame. See some of the examples below:

Harold Washington Library

Former City Library (now the Chicago Cultural Center)

Rogers Park Branch (my neighborhood!)

And I have the same beef with the Chase Banks I've been seeing built recently. Seriously, who puts a one-story building in the middle of the city? Poor planning, and shame on the city for allowing it to happen.

And that's my rant for the evening.

Time for Laziness

2009-01-22T20:03:00.003-06:00

Is it just me, or is everyone getting a major bite from the laziness bug this week? I'm not talking about work. It's pretty impossible to be lazy at my office. And in general I'm not a lazy person, by any means. But I am talking about simple home/housework tasks that just seem easier to push off than take the little bit of time to complete them. Here are a few examples:

Taking down the Christmas tree
Seriously, I know it hasn't even been a month since Christmas. However, I just can't seem to go down the one flight of stairs to the storage units, retrieve the box and bags which hold the ornaments and the fake tree for 11 months of the year, and haul it back down there for another year. In fact, I'm kind of starting to like it! Maybe I could leave it up and decorate it for Easter, or hell, even Flag Day. I definitely don't want to turn into one of those uber-trashy people who leave up Christmas decorations all year long though. So I need to just bite the bullet and do it.

Folding and Putting Away Laundry
So I know it's only my own mess, since I live by myself, but honestly I have three separate piles of clean laundry which needs to be folded and put into its respective cabinet/dresser/shelf/what have you. One is in a basket in my bedroom, the other is a gigantic pile on the floor in my guest room, and the other one is still in the dryer...where it's been for a week. It's nice selecting my clothes from the dryer in the morning. Really.

Putting Away Clean Dishes
This one's not quite so bad, since I have an insane amount of dishes. But I usually get things out of the dishwasher for a good 2-3 days before finally emptying it into the cabinets. And yes, I live in Chicago and have a dishwasher. Rare, I know. I also have a garbage disposal.

Cleaning in General
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. One of my favorite things to do on a Friday is to indulge myself with several strong cocktails, listen to loud music, and clean. Loud music is preferably The Pointer Sisters, Donna Summer, and Diana Ross. Lately, though, I haven't even felt like doing that! Maybe I've just been busy. Or maybe I need a monthly housecleaner. Most people I know have one, it seems. Anyone interested? I pay decently.

Cooking Myself Dinner
I probably cook for myself about half the time, which is pretty good considering the multitudes of tempting places to have dinner every night. I do love to cook. Absolutely love it. And I'm good at it. But lately the doldrums of cooking for one, and bringing the leftovers for lunch the next day have driven me into the same three dishes: frozen ravioli, chop suey, and tacos. I always try to eat a balanced meal, with plenty of vegetables (how I do love them!), but in the summertime with the windows open and the warm breeze coming through my kitchen, it just seems like a lot more fun.

I guess it could be a lot worse. Like I could be too lazy to flush the toilet, or take a shower in the morning. Or I could forget to do my hair in the morning, or wipe when I'm done using the bathroom. Now that I think of it, my laziness isn't as bad as it could be. Let's hope it doesn't last much longer!

HI-larious.

2009-01-21T19:27:00.003-06:00

I can't get enough of this series of videos on Youtube from the Howard Stern show where they dub Richard Simmons's voice to do prank calls. They seriously bring tears to my eyes!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

2009-01-18T11:02:00.002-06:00

I'll make it short and sweet:

No throwing up on the subway when Abe is on it!!
Thank you - the management.

Honestly, the last three times I've taken the subway late at night, someone has been throwing up right before my eyes. Once a girl was throwing up into her boot, another time a guy was throwing up out the door that leads to a different car, and last night the guy was just throwing up between his legs onto the floor for a really extended period of time. Sick! I am not of a very weak stomach, but I had several cocktails myself, so watching you heave is something I could do without. You should not be taking public transit in the first place if you are that drunk. Lord knows we've all done it. But the embarassment you will avoid by ponying up and taking a cab is well worth it. I once opened the door to a cab and threw up onto the street when the cab was stopped at a stoplight. It was on my 22nd birthday, I think. See? It can be done! But for christ sakes, I did not take the train that night! And I did not expose a whole train car to the stink and trauma of me blowing chunks all over the salty floor.

I'm sure the whole city reads my blog, so I hope to see improvements almost immediately.

A Happy Medium

2009-01-17T11:14:00.003-06:00

Can I just tell you how much television I've been watching lately? Yes, it's true. If you know me, you also know that I watch NO tv whatsoever. News in the morning, and that's about it. What's happening on American Idol? Couldn't tell you. What's happening on the Hills, House M.D., or Scrubs? Couldn't tell you. It's because I really hate cable. To me, cable just encourages laziness, and a dependence on pop culture television, which is something I can do without. Plus, I'm sorry, but $90 a month for Comcast is not at all worth it to me for what I would get. I've thought of it a number of times. But each time I get to the Comcast website, I've already talked myself out of it.

For Christmas, my mom and dad gave me a check to buy digital antennas for the year-old tv in my living room, and my 30 year-old tv in my bedroom (yes, it still works great!). So I went to Best Buy and asked about these contraptions. For only $50 each, I could look forward to several more channels that I currently get, as well as some "extras" as the salesman called it. What the hell? I bought two of the antennas. I couldn't figure out how these things were supposed to work. They were flat and white, a little smaller than a record album, and had a cable sticking out to hook to the back of the television. "Oooooooo-k," I thought. Time to give it a shot. And I was AWESTRUCK at how many more channels I could get. And clearly! I get so many channels now! I usually just watch a bunch of movies, but now I have the option to watch more television than ever before! More than just Fox and one other local channel like I got before. Let me tell you, with this cold I've been doing nothing else but enjoying my "cable". It's still not enough to make me want to sign up for a service, but it sure has been nice! PBS? Yes! They are always travelling all over the world on these journeys, and I could definitely get used to "Check, Please" where a panel of residents review tons of restaurants in Chicago.

So, if you are stubborn like me, and refuse to get cable, I feel that you should check out the digital antenna. It's a happy medium, and a good compromise for some halfway decent television!

Hell is freezing over...as we speak

2009-01-14T21:15:00.003-06:00

For those of you who have never visited Chicago in January and February, keep it that way! Run/fly/drive/crawl/crab walk/skip the other direction (preferably south)! If you haven't heard the news lately, the Midwest is in the middle of a very deep freeze. They say it's the coldest it's been for 20 years, but I feel like we deal with this every year. The high tomorrow is...get this...NEGATIVE 4. Huh? Really? I didn't even know that was a temperature. On top of that, the windchill is supposed to be in the NEGATIVE 30s. My sister, who lives in the upper peninsula of Michigan, has it much worse. But, really, once you dive below 5-10 degrees above zero, it's hard to even tell anymore.

Tonight I went to take the trash out to the alley, and I opted to brave the cold, with no coat and just a pair of gloves. I mean it's only about 80 feet away from my back kitchen door. No big deal. However, as it figures, my sweater got caught on the metal latch for the gate leading out there, and I spent way too long trying to get it unhooked without ripping it. And I thought my ears and fingers were going to crack off and fall onto the ground right before my eyes.

All of this cold and the City sending us notifications to stay inside! Don't go out in the cold! Warming shelters are available! CTA buses are sitting idling as mobile warming shelters! And what do I see on my way home tonight? A guy wearing SHORTS. Don't worry, he had on a normal Columbia coat. But shorts? I mean that's extreme. An extreme idiot, of course. Then he had the nerve to stand next to me and keep sniffing and snorting his nose every 5 seconds. No sympathy here. If you are wearing shorts in a deep freeze like this, you probably don't deserve to be in the gene pool.

So what does one do in the City during this awful cold? I'll tell you. You wear a TON of layers. You plan your errand running down to the second. Every second counts. You also do a lot of reading indoors. You do a lot of Facebooking. You drink a lot of tea and hot chocolate. You cut out every possible excess that would require going outside: taking out the trash, going to the gym, going to the grocery store. Hell, if I had a fire in my apartment tonight, I doubt I would even go outside.

Anyway, who's ready for June? Anybody?

For all you cold people

2009-01-13T18:03:00.004-06:00

I discovered something really gross yesterday. I may or may not have heard of this product in the past, but yesterday it struck me as extremely strange, and extremely gross and unnatural. It's called, "The Slanket." Essentially it's a huge, long, fleece blanket with...get this...sleeves. Are you serious, right now? So this "Slanket" or "Snuggie" as another company dubs it is marketed towards people who are either extremely lazy, play an extreme amount of video games, or spend a sick amount of time on their couch feeding their face. Ok, I admit, I do a fair share of eating on the couch. But not so much that my arms need to remain covered while I change the channel, dive into my bowl of popcorn, or reach for my cocktail. Look at the man's face in the picture above. He looks so pleased and happy! Will I be constantly and perpetually in a good mood if I purchase and use one of these things?

And how does this thing go on? Do you go through the bottom? Is the back open and you put it on like a smock? Does the back close up with buttons? A zipper? I have so many questions! But I still find it really gross, and really annoying. If someone ever got this for me as a gift (even as a joke-gift), I would immediately burn it in the alley behind my building. I'm perfectly happy with my normal throw-blankets on the back of the couch.

An interesting ride

2009-01-08T20:29:00.002-06:00

First of all, I want to say that as of yesterday, I've officially made 50 posts on here! This one will be 51. I know this is NOTHING to all you seasoned bloggers out there, but it's a personal accomplishment for the new kid on the block :) Let's all pour a drink.

You will, please, excuse the random, pointlessness of today's post. But I wanted to share my experience on the way to work on the train this morning, as my attention was kept for the entire ride. Maybe I'm just especially distracted by shiny objects in the morning.

First of all, there was this really-uber-amazingly interesting elderly lady who got on at my stop. She was extremely smartly dressed, in her 70s, I would say. She had the most pleasant look on her face, and I couldn't stop looking at her! I know, creep, right? Don't you ever have people like that? You see them and instantly you just want to know them? That's what happened to me. I bet she had tons of the best stories about relationships, family, and it looked like she'd probably travelled the world several times over. Right, she probably worked at McDonald's. But I can dream and imagine, right? So I just kept looking at her...discreetly, of course...and was thinking about how cool it would be to know her. But I chickened out on making a connection.

The second thing that was going on at the same time was this guy who looked like he was COMPLETELY stoned sitting at an angle from me. He was very nicely dressed, in business attire, fancy designer shoes, et cetera. But his eyes were completely bloodshot and BARELY open. I can't figure out how he was reading the words in the Tribune he had in his hand. He was a mystery.

The third thing that had me looking all over the place was the guy sitting right next to me that was reading...get this...an ELECTRONIC BOOK. It was just an LCD type screen and to turn the page he just clicked a button on the side. FASCINATING. I have heard of these contraptions, but never have I ever seen someone using one in person. I'm not sure how I feel about these yet, because I do love my books. The old fashioned type.

Finally, the kicker. The subway was super crowded, as always, but I kept hearing this kind of spitting sound. The kind of sound you would make by putting your tongue between your lips and blowing crisply. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out where or who it was coming from. When some people got off, I spotted this disgusting person spitting chewed fingernails onto the floor in front of him. Sick. Gross. NASTY. Maybe I'm a little neurotic (ok I'm alot nerotic), but I kept thinking they were landing on me, even though he was a good 10 feet away from me. You never know, he could be putting a hell of an arc on those bitten-off finger nails!

So between the very interesting elderly lady, to the stoned business man, to the student reading his LCD screen, to the fingernail biter, I had a very enlightening trip to work.

Ciao!

Perks We Take for Granted

2009-01-07T19:27:00.003-06:00

Michigan Avenue

I was thinking this morning on my way to my office that there are a lot of things we take for granted living in such a fabulous city. Things that you only really realize once you have lived in several different locations. Here are the things I came up with:

We can walk almost anywhere.
This being said, it's still a wonder that Chicago is considered the nation's "Fattest City." I can walk to the cleaners, the grocery store, the movie theatre, the subway, the lake/beach, and tons of restaurants and coffeehouses. All within 6 or 8 blocks. How fantastic is this? It's everyday living for me, and 3 million others, but I only really realize how nice it is when I go to a place that isn't quite so walkable.

We don't have to go to chain restaurants!
In high school in the suburbs we would always go to the same few places: IHOP, Applebee's, TGI Friday's, Taco Bell, etc. While I still have a love for Taco Bell now and then, I cannot remember the last time I went to a chain restaurant, nor can I explain how much I have come to loathe these places! Maybe I'm a restaurant snob, but with all of these one-of-a-kind restaurants in the city of any food genre you could imagine, I'm only a product of my environment.

No Walmart!
Well, ok, there's one in the city, in the Austin neighborhood, on the far west side. But I never have to go near it, and certainly never go there to shop. Mayor Daley allowed this Walmart to be built only a few years ago, mainly because it provided a ton of jobs for the neighborhood, which is in bad shape in many parts. So props to that notion. Nonetheless, I am convinced that Walmart is a living hell, so I refuse to go anywhere near it.

The Airport (s)
As much as going to O'Hare airport can be a headache, once you have learned to navigate this sprawling airport, you can get around in any airport in the entire world! You see, O'Hare is the second busiest airport in the world. You can get direct flights to anywhere around the globe, and this is a major perk to living in Chicago, especially if you travel for a living (although I don't). The other airport on the Southwest side is a much tinier one, Midway Airport, and it is the complete opposite of O'Hare. Teeny tiny, easy to navigate, and easy to get to. Both of our airports in the city are served directly by subway lines, which makes travel with luggage easy and painless (usually). The only thing about Midway is that it's so tiny that landing can be very scary! It feels like you are flying nosedown straight towards the earth, and then when the thrusters go on, you feel like you are going to zoom right out onto 63rd street. Once you get over this, it's very pleasant :)

Fabulous Shopping on Michigan Avenue
I've lived in the city for 5 years, and in the area for 12 years, and I still get excited about running over to Michigan Avenue or State Street after work to go shopping at the endless stores, galleries, and restaurants. Bloomie's? Macy's? Guess? Loehmann's? Coach? Cole Haan? All within mere blocks of one another. How about the little boutiques and salons in the Gold Coast? If you are in the suburbs, you are pretty much a slave to the shopping mall and the strip mall. Malls and strip malls are other things that I absolutely loathe. I can't even tell you. If ever I have to go to these places, I find myself cringing at the gigantic seas of parking out front and the way they are geared to the automobile. It makes me shiver a little bit.

What sorts of things do you take for granted about where you live?

The gift that keeps on giving

2009-01-06T19:36:00.003-06:00

The holidays are all over for yet another year. But the nice thing about them is that the gifts you got can last you for that year span. As long as they aren't candy or other food (which would be lucky if they lasted a day here!), you can enjoy gifts possibly for ever and ever. A good example would be one of my favorite gifts from my sister, the CTA shower curtain. This fantastic piece of decor goes wonderfully in my fire engine red bathroom. And it keeps me occupied when I'm in the shower in the morning. Not only that, but it's a great conversation piece. Everyone who walks through my front door can see into the bathroom (good thing I keep it spic and span) and consequently asks me about my new curtain. I love it. So you see? This is the gift that keeps on giving. Probably only to me, since I'm likely the only one in the entire world who could get excited about a shower curtain. At any rate, thanks, Adrian! How about everyone who's reading? What kinds of gifts will keep you occupied for the next year? Or longer?

The Makings of a Bad Monday

2009-01-05T21:06:00.003-06:00

With this being my first day back to work after nearly a 2-week vacation, I was already not completely woken up as I walked 5 blocks to the subway stop this morning.

I knew it was not going to be a good morning when I got onto the platform to find it completely PACKED with people waiting. I waited for a good 15 minutes, while express trains flew by on the outer track, and I patiently awaited a local train. Patiently, and very frigidly. Usually, I wouldn't have to wait more than 2-3 minutes, as that's the frequency in the morning rush.

The carefree evening trip home more than made up for it, as I was running late to a Board meeting, which I was hosting. Made it in 25 minutes!

Ohh...the moustache

2009-01-03T11:35:00.002-06:00

Does anyone else think that moustaches should be banned? And why did this trend hit full force in 2008? It seemed like everyone was donning them. Teenage hipsters with their peach fuzz ones were the worst. I mean, honestly, I think there's a better way to show that you are a "man" when you are a teenager than by watering your upper lip with Miracle Grow and sporting a little fur.

In all seriousness, though, the worst part is when food gets caught in a moustache. Disgusting! Didn't anyone teach you how to eat? Plus you have to groom it (unless you are the guy in the picture above). I know how much extra time it takes me to shave every other day, I couldn't imagine grooming a ball of hair on my lip. Not that I could even grow a full moustache, and if I did, it would be very fine and very blond such that it wouldn't even look like a moustache at all.

My father has a moustache, and has for many years. It looks alright on him, I suppose. I guess this is a case where it's acceptable, but there's a fine line between acceptable and getting with the times. I bet you it would shave 20 years off (no pun intended here) if you would just shave it off. And you can always grow it back if you decide you don't like it. But I almost guarantee that you will like it.

What says you?

If I were made of money

2009-01-02T11:45:00.002-06:00

When we were little, we always heard our parents say, "What am I, made of money?!" At least that was the question posed in my family when we would beg our parents to buy something frivolous for us. "Money doesn't grow on trees," they would assure us. Today I'm glad they brought me up this way, as they instilled in me a fairly frugal attitude, which has paid off in many ways. No pun intended there.

The other day I was having coffee with a friend, and we began talking about what we would do if we had millions of dollars to throw around. To make it totally fair, and self-serving, we couldn't say things like "donate millions of dollars to children in Africa" and "give money to all of the homeless people on the streets of Chicago." We could only come up with things meant to satisfy our selfishness. Kind of mean, but also kind of fun. These are the things that I came up with:

1.) A downtown penthouse in Streeterville, River North, or the South Loop...in addition to the place I already own in Rogers Park (I love it so!)
2.) A Manhattan apartment (preferably in Hell's Kitchen, or the UWS)
3.) A San Francisco apartment in North Beach
4.) I would travel all over the place. Top destinations would be Africa, Turkey, Greece, and India
5.) I would open up a nightclub in Chicago that would be a huge hit.
6.) I would have my hardwood floors redone/releveled/refinished, etc.
7.) I would have floor-to-ceiling book cases installed in my second bedroom (the fancy kind with cabinets on the bottom)
8.) I would give plane tickets to my family and close friends to go anywhere they wanted on a vacation.
9.) I would gather up about 5-8 close friends and we would all take a huge, wild, crazy vacation together.
10.) I would host a large, decadent, dinner party at a club for maybe 30 of my closest friends and family.

So those are the top things I came up with (why are these lists always 10? OCD? Perhaps.). What sorts of things would you do?

Abe's Pet Peeves Volume 1

2008-12-29T18:14:00.002-06:00

All this vacation time has really gotten me thinking of my pet peeves. Call me cynical, call me impatient, but I have become very aware of these things in the last week. Maybe the time off has allowed me to pay more attention to my surroundings. Some of these may be repeats from past posts, but I like to have them all tidy in one list:

1.) Text messages that say "hi," and that's it.
2.) Mass holiday greetings (i.e. via text message).
3.) Idiot drunks who repeat the same thing over and over again (like the 10 minute conversation I had with a guy at the bar regarding my 180s earmuffs)
4.) People who throw up on the subway (like the girl last night who I saw throwing up into her boot, while her boyfriend took pictures from every angle)
5.) Bigotry (I can't even begin to tell you how often I encounter this, or how much I despise it)
6.) People sending retarded mass emails (especially politically themed ones)
7.) People who idiotically think public transit is only for poor people (hello!), and are too good for it.
8.) When people weave all over the sidewalk while you are trying your damndest to pass them (keep it in one lane!!)
9.) When people are not on time. Because I always am, and then some.
10.) When people don't pick up their dog poo from the street.

I think that about sums the biggest pet peeves up. If I think of more, I will post another installment at a later date :)

Guest Blogger #1

2008-12-28T12:46:00.003-06:00

And now, it's the moment we've all been waiting for! Well, at least the one I've been waiting for, since this is a surprise to my readers (so many of you!). I have a dear friend, who lives in Seattle, and she has written a wonderful piece as my guest blogger. If she likes writing them, she would be more than welcome to keep them coming once a month or so (hint, hint!) Enjoy, as I know I did:

The Things I Hate At This Very Moment
A Usually Happy Jen-In-Seattle Gets a Case of the Grumblecakes after Christmas

Dear people in public: I dislike you. A lot. A big pat on the back, yes, a huge pat for electing the first president in decades to motivate the masses in such a big and liberal way. Oh, and way to buckle down in this horrible economy, certainly we’re all doing the best we can in this uphill battle.

However, question: why must you wander around, bloated and half-awake, at your post-holiday sales at the mall(s)? There are others around you. It’s your prerogative to smell of dog food and walk with your mouths agape, but must you slow down the foot traffic and clog up the entryways of establishments? I take complete joy in whipping past you and smacking you with my big purse if you’re not following basic rules of walking. You don’t know I’m doing it anyway; you’re too busy looking for the ultimate frozen yogurt and cheapest pairs of jeans on Christmas clearance.

I’m thinking also of starting a petition to make all smug married men go to their own separately-mandated bars. Why must they involve themselves in the single scene when they clearly have no place there? Once you’re out all you can converse about is being married anyway. Go back to your homes to talk about it with your wives, then, in the suburbs with your baby slings and minivans… your garish wedding rings are too much to handle. If I get enough signatures I’ll take this petition to Mayor Nickels.

Dear weather: act normal! Where do you get off stopping business as usual for a week and a half by dumping two feet of snow on an unsuspecting and unprepared city? We get rain, that’s all we’ve budgeted for with our city roads. We own 27 plows, all of which are rubber-tipped and cannot scrape ice. We are a green city, so we cannot salt nor sand. So, we sat and waited for it all to melt. Meanwhile, commerce was crippled: people couldn’t purchase gifts in this already-burdened economy. Families couldn’t fly out to see each other and were stranded at airports. No one could go to work because the buses were busy smashing through guardrails and generally not in service. Weather, should we consider moving the holidays to the summer? Will that make you happy?

Cheers to 2009, may she be load-bearing and ready to roll up her sleeves!

Ice cream?

2008-12-26T22:46:00.004-06:00

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! I had a wonderful time in the suburbs with my parents and sisters. Since I take the Metra train (commuter rail) to their house, it's always some good "zone out" time when I take the hour and a half ride to or from the 'burbs. However, this evening when I was headed back, this weird, fidgety man sat right across from me. Since the entire car was nearly empty, I found it curious that he sat so close to me. Anyway, he was making a lot of quick movements and making me very nervous, despite my glaring at him. Then, he started taking all of these balled up newspapers from his tote bag and taking them one by one to the trash can at the other end of the car. Weird, I thought. But it got weirder. He then proceeded to remove a huge telephone box from his tote bag. Not a cell phone, but a huge desk-type phone, like I have on my desk at my office. It had lots of fancy buttons along the side, and lights, but he was looking at it like he'd just seen Jesus Christ walking down the street. Weird, I thought, again. Finally, he took out an ice cream covered with chocolate on a stick and began eating that. In fact, he ate about 4 of these ice cream treats on the entire ride. He didn't bother to throw away the sticks, like he'd been so careful about throwing away the newspapers. Instead, he made sure that they were completely cleaned off, and put them in his tote bag. Very weird. To top it all off, he then removed a huge 2-liter of pop and was just drinking (pardon me, gulping) it out of the bottle.

Why was he saving the popsicle sticks? Some sort of art project, perhaps? Kindling for a fire? We can only speculate. It certainly made for an interesting, and blog-worthy trip back to the city though!

Glow-in-the-dark tunnels

2008-12-23T10:27:00.002-06:00

I found this Tribune article very interesting, regarding Chicago subway tunnel glow-in-the-dark paint. I don't know why it's taken so long to make the escape routes a priority (although I'm sure other things have been done in the meantime). But this one seems like a no-brainer. There have been several huge subway derailments in the past few years, and it seems like chaos ensues each time. It's really no surprise...can you imagine zooming along at 55 mph and then flying off the track? It's already loud enough when you are in the tunnels, and I couldn't imagine what that would sound like.
Anyway, kudos to the CTA for employing this paint to be used on the catwalks in case of an emergency subway evacuation. I'm sure it's money well-spent (although I hope we don't ever have to find out for sure!)

I almost didn't make it to work

2008-12-22T21:57:00.002-06:00

I had a scary trip to work on the subway this morning. It was a dreadfully cold walk to the train in the 0 degree morning. At least the wind wasn't so bad...but I had many layers, a nice wool hat, scarf, and really thick gloves. I did, however, forget the long underwear, but that's beside the point. I got on the train, and found the last seat, which I was thankful for, because I wanted to read my New Yorker magazine. All of a sudden, I felt like I wanted to close my eyes REALLY badly. Not from tiredness, or exhaustion, but rather because I was suddenly feeling terribly light-headed. Then, this wave began passing over me where I got extremely sweaty, and had to take off almost all of my outerwear (except my coat). It was strange that I was sweating, because I am normally not a sweater, and normally pretty cold blooded in general. Also, while the train car was not nearly as cold as it was outside, it certainly was cool enough that one should not be sweating. But there I was, about to keel over on the person sitting next to me, like one of those homeless people who falls asleep next to you. I came this close to tapping them on the shoulder and telling them I was about to pass out. All I could look forward to was getting off the train to change to the next one and get some fresh air at the same time.

Then, as quickly as it had come, the feeling passed. My fingers were absolutely numb from being out of my gloves and into the cold, but it felt better overall. I don't know what happened to me, as I'm far from claustrophobic, and didn't do anything differently in the morning than I usually would. I didn't eat breakfast, but I never really do, so it probably wasn't that. Whew. It sure was a little scary for a moment, going through my mental pictures of subway stops that might be near a doctor's office or clinic in case I needed to run into the waiting room and cause a scene!

Anyway, I got to work and was still a little shaky-handed from the ordeal, but by mid morning, I was completely back to normal like nothing had happened. Next time I'll have to throw a bottle of smelling salts in my bag! Ha. Good to be prepared.

The Perils of a Name like Abe

2008-12-20T10:22:00.002-06:00

Last night was the third night this week that I recieved a phone call around 3am, when all I could hear was feet walking through snow on the other end. Apparently, I'm not as popular as I think, but, rather, I have the brilliant luck of being first on everyone's phone contacts. A.B.E. The only person who might be before me is A.A.R.O.N. I only know one of those, and he doesn't use that name. It seems to me cell phones should be getting better these days. What, with flip phones, it seems much harder to make an accidental phone call while the phone is tumbling around in your pocket or purse. However, with the advent of Blackberrys and I-Phones, there are so many buttons that something is bound to get pushed accidentally while you trudge home from the bar. I severely dislike being awoken from a sound sleep in the middle of the night. Especially on a weeknight when I'm up at 6:30 the next morning, and ESPECIALLY when I realize that there's no one on the other end who wants to talk to me. I also assume every call I get in the wee morning hours will be bad news, so I tend to be very nervous when I do answer.

I like to let people know that they've disturbed my sleep, as well. Usually my response text message goes something like this, "Your phone just dialed me, you bastard," or "Hey streetwalker, keep your phone in check." Normally if it was Friday or Saturday and I was out, of course I wouldn't mind so much. In fact, I probably wouldn't even hear it ring if I happened to be somewhere with loud music and crazy drunks running all over the place. But last night, and the other two times this week, I was warm in my bed, fast asleep.

Now this gets me thinking of my name in general. A.B.E. Or A.B.R.A.H.A.M. When I was little, I didn't quite like my name so much as I do today. Why couldn't I be named Justin, or Kyle, or Adam? Those were the COOL names. Not anymore. Today I absolutely love my name. It generates so much discussion, and I LOVE when something about me generates discussion. I will talk to you for an entire day if that happens. People ask me where I'm from, where my parents are from, what my ethnicity is, and am I Jewish? Hindu? Muslim? Once they see the last name, it usually clears everything up. It's a good, old fashioned, die-hard Irish last name. Sometimes, though, this just raises more questions.

The final point I want to make about my name, is that it is very often confused with other, rhyming, names when people hear it for the first time (especially on the phone at work). Dave? Gabe? No. It's ABE. Like ABRAHAM. That's what I have to say nearly every day. People never forget my name. If you are looking to have kids, name them something unique! They will probably thank you for it one day, although maybe not right away. That is, unless your big dreams for your child involve becoming a criminal. In that case you may want to stick with a less memorable name like Justin, Brad, Mike. Or Katie, Amy, Laura.

CTA Holiday Train!

2008-12-19T18:53:00.004-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, I witnessed one of my absolute favorite things about the holiday season. Call me the biggest nerd ever, but the CTA Holiday Train is what I'm talking about! The Brown line goes right past the window of my office, so I had all of my associates on high alert, because they know how much I love this train. And late yesterday afternoon is when I got the call. I almost peed my pants when I went to the conference room and watched it pass. The sad part is I've never gotten to ride it because it seems like it's always going the opposite way that I happen to be traveling.

However, just seeing the subway cars all lit up with lights and flashing bulbs, and even a flat-bed car with Santa and his sleigh seriously brightens up my day. There are employees dressed as elves in every car handing out candy, shouting, "Merry Christmas!" It almost feels like you are in a theme park, or department store display. I'm like a little kid, it seems, but everyone gets a little dreamy-eyed around the holidays. At least I think so.

Additionally, it seems like every year, there's a contingent of people who complain in the newspapers about how this Holiday train is an awful waste of money by an already cash-strapped agency, blah, blah, blah. What scrooges. What buzz-kills! What wet blankets they are. I would argue that the one thing people really need right now is some holiday cheer, and I think this is the best solution. Come on, it's not that much of a drain on the CTA's pocketbook. I'll be the first to admit, it's been awfully hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year with the economy being shit, and everyone being in crisis mode. This is just a small gesture to get everyone, especially myself, in good spirits! Keep it up!

Horse Hair Surprise

2008-12-16T19:51:00.003-06:00

We had a huge snowstorm hit Chicago this afternoon, and by the time rush hour hit, we had a good 5" of snow on the ground. For some reason, the trains always get crazy backed up when we have inclement weather. It's ridiculous...these are trains, not cars! There's no traffic jam to get through. Side note: why is it even called rush hour, anyway? It really lasts from about 4pm until 8pm. Anyway, the platform at the Merchandise Mart was packed...I mean solid people, 10 deep, so I was trying to maneuver myself to my preferred location (front of the train) when I felt something touching (or, rather, tickling) my face. When I turned my head to look, I saw the most disgusting mane of hair completely encrusted with ice and snow. Ugh. And that was just on my face. It had the appearance of this:

But the consistency and texture of this:

"Do you want a carrot?" I felt like saying. "How aboout a sugar cube?" "If you give me your brush, I will groom your ice and slush encrusted, disgusting mane of hair."

Sick. It was the grossest hair I've ever seen. I know they probably couldn't help it, since the snow was coming down pretty fast. But keep it off my face, please! I don't know where that rat's nest has been!

Then I gave up and walked to another train, because this whole ordeal had taken 20 minutes and not one Brown or Purple line had gone by.

What a night.

Dinner Party, Come On Over

2008-12-12T20:57:00.004-06:00

Tomorrow evening I'm hosting a dinner party. And I'm very excited about it. That's because dinner parties are my favorite thing in the entire world. Especially since it's freezing cold out, and I get to stay inside and cook while everyone else braves the cold on the bus or subway to come over. Normally the night unfolds in this not unusual way:
1.) Have several cocktails, and get a little (I mean very) happy
2.) Bring out appetizers
3.) Share any new music that I've acquired since the last time I had people over
4.) Wrap up any last minute cooking (i.e. bread in the oven, or make a salad)
5.) Sit down to the meal, and eat more and more until we are stuffed
6.) Redistribute fresh cocktails
7.) Sit and chat for a bit (and let the meal digest)
8.) Move on to some board games (the best!), or possibly a movie. Since my dining room is also my living room, this can all take place in one motion, which is nice.
9.) Play with Gus (my friends' Yellow Lab, who I always love to have over as well)
10.) Refill cocktails (notice the trend here)
11.) Start talking extensively about raunchy things (thanks to free-flowing liquor)
12.) Everyone is tired and should head towards home. And I should clean up and go to bed, myself. (**Optional alternate for #11, depending on the mood: Everyone decides to head to a club and be wild until the wee hours of the morning.)

So tomorrow, the 6 of us are having a simple and easy menu. The appetizer will be some dried fruit and dates wrapped in bacon. Dinner will be spaghetti and homemade meatballs, garlic bread, and a tomato-cucumber-feta salad. Someone is bringing dessert, so that will be a surprise. Yum. I'm hungry already, just thinking about it. I always take tons of pictures as well, and sometimes everyone gets up to bust a little move if the music's right. Well, usually that's just me. The playlist for the evening is something I take a lot of time to put together. Compose is more the word for it. I try my best to estimate how much time the proceedings of the evening will take, and match the music to it. It usually begins with some classic R&B, jazz, or lounge through dinner, then by the end of the night we are cranking up the old school, classic house, and funk.

Dinner parties are always the most memorable times for me, because they are so candid, you don't have to deal with crazy drunk people who you don't know, and everyone always loves good food! Of course it's good, because I cooked it!

So what about you? Any good dinner party tips, stories, menu items, or the like?